Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
by Akira Ichijouji
Summary: One week can change everything -- in the lives of the infamous team of Sirius, Remus, James and Peter, this particular week spurns disaster, hilarity, detentions galore, and love! *SLASH* -- RL/SB, mostly. *COMPLETE!*
1. Muffins, Slugs, and Illicit Kisses

Author's Note

Warnings: Slash!  (Boys snogging.  'Nuff said.)

Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this belong to J. K. Rowling (any that are not mentioned in the HP books are my creations.  There _were_ more students at Hogwarts in the 70's besides MWPP, Lily, and Snape, dontcha know.)  Thank you soooo much for creating such wonderful, loveable, shaggable characters in _Prisoner of Azkaban…and for not doing something drastic (like suing me) just because I'm letting them play a little in the Sandbox 'o Love.  Thank you and good night._

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Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

By Akira Ichijouji

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Chapter One: Muffins, Slugs, and Illicit Kisses

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_friday night_

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            "I hate you all," James announced good-naturedly to the room as he prodded the two-foot slug that had mysteriously appeared in his nightstand.

            Sirius (or, more accurately, Sirius' blankets) quivered with suppressed giggling.  With a flick of his wand, James banished the slug from his drawer until it hung, wetly, a good yard over Sirius's blanketed head.

            "I wouldn't come out from under those covers anytime soon, Padfoot."  Remus barely looked up from his reading as the slug waved bulging eye-stalks at the room at large.  Peter, giggling, had abandoned his former vantage point to lean on the mahogany bedpost of James' four-poster.

            "What?  Why?"  Both Peter and James broke into fits of laughter as Sirius pulled the covers off his head – and was immediately rewarded with a faceful of squashy, oozing slug belly.  Remus looked up, grinned, and bit his lip to stifle the chuckle threatening to surface.  Very surreptitiously, he pulled out his wand and banished the slug across the room, where it hit James square in the chest.

            "Hahaha…ack!!!"  James was bowled over backwards onto his bed as the slug trained its stalkish eyes on his face.  With a murderous glint in his eye, James sent the slug whizzing back into Sirius, who sent it sailing into Peter.  Remus rolled his eyes, laughed, and redirected the slug, which was en route to his head, back at James.

            The tri-monthly slug fight had begun anew.

            After much slime, giggles, wet smacks, and a final banishment of the bloated slug to the Slytherin common room, James decided that a trip to the kitchens was in order.

            Remus quickly declined.  "Urgh.  How can you think of food after being hit in the face with a two-foot gastropod for the past quarter of an hour?" he asked, sticking his nose back in his book.

            "We'll bring you back some muffins," Sirius said, waving coquettishly from the doorway and trying to remove some slug ooze from behind his ear with his sleeve.

            Remus didn't look up from his book.  "Sounds good to me."

            The dormitory door creaked shut, and Remus could hear the tell-tale swish of the Invisibility cloak as it concealed the rampant mischief-makers.

            Ah.  Peace and quiet.

            "Remus?" said Peter, from his position on James' bed.

            The young werewolf sighed.  He lowered his book, turning to face the other boy.  _So much for quiet._

            His annoyance dissolved instantly, however, at the look on Peter's face.  The smaller blond boy looked distressed, teeth worrying his bottom lip, eyes downcast.  Remus crossed his legs, leaving ample room on the bed for a second occupant.  "Peter," he said kindly, patting the space in front of him, laying his book face down on the nightstand.  When the round-faced boy had made himself comfortable on the end of Remus' bed, leaning back against the footboard and letting one foot hang slightly off the edge of the mattress, Remus looked at him curiously.

            "Why didn't you go to the kitchens with Padfoot and Prongs?"

            Peter shrugged.  "I'm not really that hungry, I guess."

            Remus' worry doubled.  Peter, most of the time, was one of the ones who instigated their late-night kitchen raids.  "Do you want to talk about…anything?"

            The blond boy winced.  This was his chance to get everything off his chest…this was his chance…

            Okay, _this was his chance._

            Alright, _this was his chance._

            Or now.

_            Now_…

            As the seconds stretched into minutes, Remus fidgeted slightly.  He didn't want to push.  It seemed like Peter's problem was quite a bit more serious than a low Potions score or a missing homework assignment.  Now the blond boy's throat was working, but no sound was coming out.  Peter seemed to be staring intently at one spot on the blanket; he was taking deep breaths…

            "Moony…"

            It was a start.

            "…What would you do, if you thought that maybe, maybe you were in love with someone, or maybe you just like them, you don't know, but they were sort of the kind of person you aren't really supposed to fall in love with, you know, but you do anyway, and you're not sure how they'll take it, because there's a very strong chance they could punch you, or look at you funny for a long time, which would be worse, since your bed is sort of right next to theirs…"  Peter clapped both hands to his mouth, eyes wide.

_            Hmm.  James.  Of course.  Should have seen it sooner._  "Well," Remus said, looking Peter straight in the eye, "I would definitely get them alone and tell them, because if you don't, you could spend the rest of your life regretting it."  Remus smiled.  "Especially if your bed is sort of right next to theirs."  _Now if I'd just take my own advice._

            Peter looked relieved.

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            Sirius and James, meanwhile, had run into an adventure.  The staircase they usually used to get to the kitchens had picked that very night to turn itself upside-down, so when the two boys came back, pockets stuffed with food, they were faced with a yawning precipice and the choice to either sit and wait it out, or look for another way around.

            The first option was completely out of the question.

            So they struck off down the hallway to their left, took another staircase, went behind a tapestry in an alcove straight ahead, barely avoided crashing through the Bloody Baron, wove in-and-out between some mysterious, humming suits of armor, took another left, and ended up directly where they started from.

            So they took another path in the opposite direction.

            Half an hour later Sirius and James were panting, back where they started, after a very near miss with Mrs. Norris and a sort of indoor will-o'-the-wisp.  Unfortunately, they could still see that the staircase had not moved from its new location.

            James pulled the Invisibility Cloak off them both and sat down on the dusty flagstones with a plop.  "Have any more _brilliant ideas, Sirius?"_

            Sirius huffed and sat down beside his friend.  His last "brilliant idea" had led them into a very tricky room filled with mattresses and pull-away beds that had a tendency to snap shut when one came too close.  It took James at least ten minutes to extricate Sirius from a particularly malicious box-spring.

            Sirius suddenly brightened and raised one finger in the air.  "I have it!"

            James, disgruntled, slumped even farther against the banister.  "If this has anything to do with that room completely filled with chamber pots we found last week, I refuse."

            "Damn."  Sirius slumped against the banister as well.  "That's it.  I'm all dry."

            James was shocked.  "What?  Mr. Man With a Plan doesn't have another harebrained scheme?"

            "Shut up.  I'm tired.  And hungry."  The shorter boy eyed James' pockets hungrily.  "Can I pleeeeease have something to eat?"

            "No.  It's not my fault you ate all your food."

            "Pleeeeeeeeeease???"

            "No!"

            Five minutes later, Sirius was chatting away, munching on a blueberry muffin.  "So, she sent me a note in Transfiguration asking if I wanted to meet her in the Astronomy Tower at 9:00 Friday night…and wow, this girl…absolutely gorgeous.  All that curly black hair…and curves…" Sirius cupped his hands to illustrate.  "…But I had to tell her no, since I already had a date with Lydia.  Is it just me or has Lydia been making eyes at that Ravenclaw, whatsisname, ahhh…Jeremy Baston?"

            James had been steadily drooping every since the long-haired boy went into chatter mode.  As Sirius switched topic once again, James' head dropped onto his shoulder.

            "So, Jamie, tell me again who the first girl you ever kissed was?"

            "You know all about it, Sirius."

            "Yes, precious, but it's so much more fun to tease you once my memory has been refreshed."

            "Prat."

            Sirius smiled euphorically.  "Takes one to know one."

            And then, everything was still.

            Ahhhh, silence.  James' eyes drifted shut, and his breathing became heavy and regular.  In his drowsy state, he didn't really notice when Sirius' arm snaked around his waist, Sirius' hand covered his, and Sirius' lips lightly touched his hair.  "You're such a darling, Jamie."

            "Mmhmm."

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            "I don't know, but his face sure rings a bell![1]"  Peter delivered the punchline of his new joke with a flourish and a giggle.

            Remus couldn't help it.  He laughed.  "That was terrible."

            "I know."  They grinned at each other.  In a moment of slight insanity, Remus had a mysterious urge to run his fingers through the loose blond curls of the boy across from him.  "R-Remmie?"

            "Yes?"

            "Have…have you ever wondered…what it would be like…to kiss another boy?"  Peter's pale blue eyes were worried again, and a flush colored his round cheeks.

            "Quite a bit, actually," Remus admitted, hands plucking nervously at the coverlet.

            "Would…would you mind…if I…"  Peter trailed off, leaning forward until his weight was supported under his hands, leaning forward until his lips were pressed clumsily against Remus'.

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            James was bored and drowsy, and kissing Sirius had seemed like a very good idea at the time.  Apparently it had seemed like a very good idea to Sirius as well, because Sirius couldn't seem to keep his hands off him.  Only the clunk of the staircase going back to its original location knocked them violently out of their reverie.

            "Whoa."  James was looking wide-eyed at a very wide-eyed Sirius.

            "Wasn't expecting _that to happen."  They stared for a few more seconds, eyes every-so-often flicking down to kiss-full lips._

            "D'you want to…"  James nodded his head in the direction of the newly-restored staircase.

            "Oh.  Oh.  Yeah."  They struck off for home.

            Seven minutes later Sirius had nudged James up against a wall in the Charms corridor and was thoroughly kissing him.  James didn't mind at all.

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            So…"  Remus' voice was slightly hoarse.

            "Thanks," Peter whispered, sitting back on his heels.

            The kiss had been awkward, confusing – a classic first on both parts.  Remus came up with wetter lips than he would have expected, and Peter came up without that legendary rush of pleasure that was supposed to happen when you kissed somebody.

            This didn't stop them from trying it a second time.  And a third time.  The only thing that kept them from giving it another go was the tell-tale creak of the dormitory door.

            "You're a bastard, Sirius Black!  An absolute _bastard!"  James stormed off to his bed, didn't bother to undress, and pulled the curtains shut around him._

            "Oh, but you love me for it!" Sirius said winningly, pulling red-striped pajamas from his dresser drawer.

            James made an aggravated noise, and the curtains of his bed quivered as he pulled the covers over his head.

            Peter awkwardly removed himself from Remus' bed, waving nervously at the boy he'd just chatted with and kissed for the past hour or two.  Remus waved back, smiling.

            As soon as Peter rounded the corner to his bed, last on the end next to James' silent one, Sirius launched himself at Remus' bed, landing face-first by the young werewolf's feet.  "Hi Moony!"  Sirius gave a chipper grin.

            "Hi Padfoot."  Remus smiled back and returned to his reading.  Sirius pouted.

            "Don't be like that!"

            "Mmm."

            "What are you reading, anyway?"  Sirius peered at the undecorated blue cover of the book.

            "A short story by Edgar Allen Poe."

            "Who?"

            "American Muggle writer.  Listen to this: _While the angels, all pallid and wan, uprising, unveiling, affirm that the play is the tragedy 'Man', and its hero, the Conqueror Worm."_

            "Ooh."

            When Remus returned to his reading, Sirius went back to pouting.  After looking around the room several times, he began tapping his fingers rhythmically up and down Remus' shin, who, to Sirius' dismay, gave no sign that he even noticed.  So Sirius began tapping higher…and higher…

            "Oh, honestly!  What do you want, Sirius?"  Remus looked disapprovingly at the black-haired boy, once again placing his book face down on the nightstand.

            Sirius grinned, wriggled forward a little, placed his head upon his hands, and mouthed "Love me" followed by a come-hither look.

            Remus rolled his eyes.  "Go to bed, you prat."

            "I am in bed," Sirius said, gesturing at the sheets around him.

            "_Your_ bed."

            Sirius pouted some more.  "Good evening to you too."

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_saturday morning_

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            Breakfast found Sirius, Remus, and Peter in their usual spots; James, however, was sitting several seats down, talking in animated tones with a petite brunette.  The girl didn't notice, however, how James kept shooting rancorous glares in Sirius' direction.

            "So, Remus, tell me again how sheep's bladders can be used to prevent earthquakes?[2]"

            Remus snorted into his pumpkin juice as Peter looked perplexed.  Sirius didn't notice, however, as he began chatting brightly about last week's Quidditch.

            Under the mask of nonchalance and hyper chattiness, Sirius was calculating his moves very carefully.  He _knew_ James was getting friendly with that girl just to spite him.  Honestly.  James held a grudge longer than anyone he knew.  Surely, _accidentally_ murmuring several different peoples' names when his and James' activities became a tad steamy wasn't enough to warrant the other boy giving him the cold shoulder.

            Well, well.  Two could play at that game.

            "So Remus," Sirius said with a glowing smile.  "Been up to anything…unusual…lately?"

            Remus smiled.  "Unusual in what capacity?"

            Sirius waggled his eyebrows.  "You know, _unusual."_

            The young werewolf chuckled, looking down at his plate and back up at Sirius.  "You know me, Padfoot.  When have I ever done anything…_unusual_?"

            Sirius smiled a private smile, eyes hooded.  "_You know _me_, Moony.  When do I ever get tired of asking?"_

            Remus returned the intense stare, resting his chin in one hand.  "You have a point, dear friend."

            "Indeed I do."  Sirius let his middle finger traverse the rim of his water glass lightly; he seemed engrossed in this action, then slowly raised his dark, expressive eyes to Remus'.

_            Two could play at that game._

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(swish and flick)

Finitum Chapter One!

To be continued…

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[1] – One of the readers in the last Quizbowl meet I played in read these really bad jokes at the beginning of each round.  This particular one goes as follows:

After the death of Quasimodo, the bishop of the Notre Dame Cathedral was in dire need of a new bellringer.  So he put up signs all over the city, asking if anyone would be interested in the job.  The next day he had several applicants, but none were up to his high bell-ringing standards.  Right when he was about to give up hope, a man showed up at the door.  With surprise, the bishop noted that this new man had no arms.  "I'm here for the bellringing job," he said.  "But you have no arms!" replied the bishop.  The armless man insisted that he be given a chance, and so they proceeded up to the bell tower.  The bishop was still skeptical, but was amazed to see the armless man strike the bell over and over with his face, producing the most beautiful music he had ever heard.  The joy ended, however, when the armless man tripped slightly, overbalanced, and fell straight from the bell tower.  The bishop, shocked and appalled, rushed down to the street below where a crowd, already drawn to the beautiful sounds they had heard from the cathedral, were gathering around the mangled, dead body of the armless man.  "Who is this man?" one of the bystanders asked, when the bishop arrived on the scene.  The holy man replied, "I don't know, but his face sure rings a bell."

Ah ha ha ha, wasn't that terrible?  There's a sequel joke that's just as bad, but I'm not going to type it out here.  If you really really _really_ want to know, you can email me and I'll tell you.

[2] – Kudos if you can identify this quote. ^_~  It's rather one of my favorite "overheard parts of a conversation" lines.  Kind of like, "So _I said, that __is my foot!"_


	2. Tears and Trysts, Staircases and Slyther...

Author's Note:

I just re-read GOF, and realized that in Chapter 27 ('Padfoot Returns'), Sirius actually lists a bunch of Snape's school friends.  Thus, it began to bug me that I was going against canon on something – one of the few things, actually – that we know about Marauding times.  So I went back and changed the names of the "Usual Offending Slytherins". (If anyone cares, Olivia Chaulson is my name for the future Mrs. Lestrange.)

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Chapter Two: Tears and Trysts, Staircases and Slytherins

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_saturday morning_

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            "So James," said Rachel Calahan, the pretty brunette Gryffindor James had been sitting with at breakfast, "have any plans for tonight?"

            "As a matter of fact, I don't," James replied, smiling warmly at her.  _She really is my type.  Unfortunately, Sirius also seemed to be James' "type".  Banishing shoulder-length black hair and deep blue eyes out of his mind, James returned to the conversation.  "What do you want to do?  Stroll by the lake?  Look at the stars from the Astronomy Tower?"_

            "Well," she said, pulling her thick brown curls into a ponytail, "I think I may have discovered a secret room in one of the upstairs corridors last weekend…it looked like no one had been in there in ages.  Care to help me find it again?"

            By the minute, this girl was becoming more and more James' type.  "I'd love to," he replied, his smile broadening.  _Stupid Sirius, anyway._

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_saturday evening_

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            "What are you reading now?"  Sirius sidled up to Remus, who was spread out on a sofa in front of the common room fire.  The werewolf blushed slightly.

            "It's called _The Neverending Story.  It's…kind of a Muggle children's novel."_

            Sirius grinned.

            "It's so much more than a children's book, though.  There are some parts that are quite profound."

            Sirius grinned again, and sat, quite close to Remus.  He read, over the grey-eyed boy's shoulder:

_She bent forward, picked up A U R Y N, and let the chain glide through her fingers._

_            'You have done well,' she said, 'and I am pleased with you.'_

_            'No!' cried Atreyu almost savagely.  'It was all in vain.  There's no hope.'_

            "What's this about, anyway?"  Sirius asked, leaning his head on the back of the sofa, dangerously close to Remus' shoulder.

            "If I take the time to explain, you're going to lose interest in approximately four minutes."  Remus kept his eyes to the page, but soon lost all hope of reading any more in the minutes to follow.

            "You know me too well."  Sirius snuggled closer.

            "I wouldn't say that.  I know you well.  Very well.  But I don't think I could ever know you _too well."_

            "The same goes for you, Moony, _mon ami."_

            "Let me guess: that's one of two French phrases you know."

            "One of three, actually.  I also know '_voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir' and '__pomme du terre'."_

            "Only you would think that the most important words in another language were sexual innuendoes and vegetables."

            "Damn straight."

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            Peter was alone in the dorm.  He lay down on his four-poster, looking longingly at James'.

            No matter what Remus had advised, he just couldn't tell James how he felt.  It was as if something stole his voice away at just the wrong time, or the courage he was supposed to have for Gryffindor just failed him.  It was easy for Remus to tell him what he should do; Remus had nerves, and was very honest behind the sarcasm and razor-sharp wit.  And he was brave.  Oh so brave.

_            "Remus_," Peter whispered.

            This was followed by a sigh.  What exactly had happened the night before?  Whatever had possessed him to kiss the other boy?  He supposed they were having a moment.  But what possessed both of them to repeat the action?  The first kiss held no sparks, no magic, only obvious there-ness, and it was much more awkward than Peter had counted on.  But it was friendly.  And comforting.  And for some reason Peter wanted more.

            Remus was still in the common room, yes?  Peter greatly desired another chat with the young werewolf.

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            "You are insatiable, Sirius Black.  Isn't one girl enough for you?"  Peter crept down the stairs, hearing Remus' muffled tones over by the fireplace.

            "Hmm…now that I think about it…no."

            "You're barking mad," Remus said, grinning.

            "And that makes me the popular, fun-loving guy I am today."  Sirius grinned in return.

            The young werewolf shook his head, still grinning.  "You make me crazy."

            "Asylum crazy or the _good, __desirable kind of crazy?"  The look on Sirius' face was absolutely predatory._

            "Tough choice, Padfoot, dear friend."

            Their faces were close; too close, and Peter suddenly felt very, very alone.  As silently as he could, he retreated back to the dormitory and the red velvet haven of his four-poster, solitude and disappointment his only bedfellows.

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            Rachel was a really great girl.  She was fun, energetic, and where she lacked in pure book learning she made up for in common sense.  So what if her laugh was a little irritating?  So what if she tended to squint?  She was cute, smart, and loved exploring around the castle at night…

            So what if James just couldn't make himself be attracted to her?

            Damn.

_            Buck up, Prongsy.  This is revenge.  Not romance.  Revenge.  Not romance._  James stiffened a little as Rachel moved a little closer to him in the darkness.

            It was going to be a long night.

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            "You know, this isn't just me being flirty and sex-deprived.  I really want to be with you, Moony," Sirius murmured as he brushed cool lips along Remus' jaw.

            "I didn't know, actually…not that I mind, at this juncture…ooh."  Remus' hands tightened convulsively, gathering handfuls of the back of Sirius' t-shirt.  "I'm not sure I believe you, however."

            "_Trust_ me, Remus.  You _do trust me, yes?"_

            "Of course I trust you…ahhh…"  Remus bit his lip as Sirius lightly tongued over his pulse point.  "It isn't…exactly…a matter of trust…it's much more a matter of…gullibility…on my part."

            "You're too smart to be gullible.  And too beautiful to be allowed."  An interlude for an open-mouthed kiss, then:

            "Lines like that designed to win over a girl's heart are going to be, at the least, completely ineffective on me."

            "Oh, but it's true, dearest, every word is true."

            "I wish I could believe that."

            "Why can't you?" Sirius whispered, gliding fingertips lightly along Remus' cheekbone.  "I never joke about things this serious."

            "Serious, ah?"  Remus smiled, eyes hooded.  "So this is 'serious', is it?"

            Sirius smiled in return, fingers straying to tangle with Remus'.  "That's my name, don't wear it out."

            Another pause for a still-lengthier kiss, then: "I'm still not sure I believe you."

            Sirius pulled the young werewolf closer to him.  "Don't worry about it, lovely."

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_late saturday night_

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            James stormed up to the dormitory, fuming.  The nerve of Sirius!  Upon returning from his midnight tryst with Lady Rachel, he promptly found Sirius and Remus making out on the common room sofa.

            And, to top it all off, as soon as the two heard his gasp/disappointed noise/shout of horror, Sirius smiled, waved, and pulled Remus on top of him.

            Peter watched James do a repeat performance of the night before, storming into the dormitory, not bothering to change clothing, and angrily pulling the curtains shut around him.

            Wormtail had a choice.  One: let James be, which would probably result in Peter keeping his limbs; or two: go over and attempt to act as the proverbial shoulder for the express purpose of leaking that poetic mixture of water, salt and enzymes upon – which would probably result in less remaining body parts but was worth it to be sitting on the same bed with Prongs.  What's a finger or a hand compared to several minutes of close proximity to the love of your life?

            "Jamie?"  Peter stood by the velvet curtains, hands behind his back, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet.

            "What?"  James still sounded angry – not a good sign.

            "Are you OK?"

            "Oh yeah.  Just perfect.  I'm off on cloud nine, I am."  Oh.  Sarcasm.  Definitely not a good sign.

            Peter hesitated, then: "C-Can I…come in?"

            "Knock yourself out."

            With a shaking hand, Peter parted the curtains and sank down, cross-legged, on the foot of the bed.

            James had pulled the covers over his face.

            "Prongs?" Peter whispered, cocking his head to one side.

            "Yeah?" James whispered back, not sounding angry anymore.

            "What's wrong?"  Peter rested his head in his hands, supported by bare elbows on flannel-clad knees.

            "It's just Black being a bastard again."

            "Oh."  Peter was suddenly tongue-tied.

            James uncovered his head, sitting up, and Peter noted, with not a small amount of amazement, the tears glittering unbidden in his lashes.

            "He just hasn't a whit of tact.  Or decency.  Or modesty.  Or scruples.  For some reason, other peoples' feelings don't really occur to him, so he just goes around, just breaking hearts, like they don't matter…when it's just some girl it's not as bad but when it's your friend…"  James shook his head, and Peter realized something.

_            Prongs was jealous, and angry, and frightened.  Because he loved Sirius._

            And suddenly, as James kept complaining about Padfoot, that barely-noticeable sheen of wetness over his eyes, Peter felt as if the bottom of his stomach had dropped out.

            The round-faced boy felt ill.  He'd never even had a chance.

            As James fell silent, Peter kept his eyes downcast.  "I'm…sorry…about Padfoot, Prongs," he murmured, almost incoherently, as he quit the bed and went to hide beneath the staircase.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            James was still awake when Sirius and Remus came to bed.  They were whispering, giggling, thinking he was asleep.  He heard the continuous whisper of day clothes coming off and night clothes going on, and the dry swish of bed curtains.  He heard the creak of bedsprings and the rustle of blankets and sheets.  He heard things quiet down and the soft, barely audible buzz of conversation.

            "Sirius, you're such an exhibitionist.  Was it really necessary to continue to fool around right in front of Prongs?"

            Sirius' reply was muffled, but Remus' exclamation was perfectly discernable.  "Oh, honestly, Padfoot!"  There was a low, instantly-recognizable laugh, and James curled into a ball as he heard the tell-tale rustle of bedclothes and nearly inaudible smack of lips.

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_sunday morning_

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            Sirius was doing it again.

            Giving Moony "the look".

            Not just any look – this was the burning, intense, "I want you right here right now" look.

            And right over the breakfast table!  The nerve!

            James couldn't take any more.  So he left.

            He was so wrapped up in his thoughts and self-pity that he ran smack into someone in the hallway, causing them to drop the large armful of books they had been carrying.

            Oh, great.  It was…whatsername, that redheaded Ravenclaw…Lily…Evans?  James had always thought she was kind of a stuck up prude, since his only interaction with her thus far had been her yelling at him and his friends for making noise in the Quidditch section of the library, or flashing her Prefect badge at them as they plotted mischief in the hallways.

            James was floored, however, when Lily slumped to the ground and burst into tears.

            "Oh, hey, hey, I'm so sorry!  D-Don't cry!  Look, I'll help you with these…"  James bent to pick up the books.

            "N-No, no, i-it's not y-you…" the redhead sobbed, burying her face in her hands.

            Lily had been under an enormous amount of pressure.  Finals were coming up – and what with all the extra projects she'd opted to do, regular _and extra homework, prefects meetings and planning sessions – not to mention regular prefect duties which had most of the school making fun of her behind her back – she was stressed out, nearly burnt out, and hadn't had time for a good cry all year._

            Dropping her books had been the proverbial stiff grass stalk that fractured the spine of the dromedary.

            After a few minutes of sobbing in the hallway, James hovering worriedly around her, she looked up, eyes puffy and wet, face blotchy, nose running.

            "I'm so sorry…" she whimpered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

            "It's okay," James replied, slightly bemused.

            "I look terrible, don't I?"  She sniffed wetly.

            There was a long pause, then: "Well, yeah…you really do…"

            Lily giggled.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_sunday afternoon_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Peter had successfully avoided his friends all day.  He just didn't think he could stand it – the two people in the entire world who made him feel quivery inside were…in…love…with…Sirius.

_            Bet they didn't even notice I wasn't there today,_ Peter thought miserably from his hiding place under the stairs.  Or worse, maybe they did – but they didn't care.

            Peter was shaken from his reverie by a high gasp; he looked up in surprise to see a little first year girl with tears in her eyes.  She began to cry, short black curls in disarray.

            "Shh, shh, don't cry, come here…what's the matter?"  Peter, with two younger sisters, was used to this.

            Soon the little girl had her face buried in Peter's shirt, and was sobbing out her story.  Apparently, this was the little girl's hiding spot too, and the other girls in her dormitory liked to tease her – because she had a Muggle family, or because she was poor, or because her hair was short and not long and in ribbons like theirs.

            Several minutes later she was chatting animatedly with Peter about Quidditch, and how sad she was that no first years were allowed their own brooms.  Flying lessons had been the best part of the year, she thought.

            Flying took her mind off everything.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius and Remus had found the perfect hidden corner; pity they were interrupted mid-snog by the sound of taunting Slytherin voices, headed their way.

            "No crowd to protect you this time, Fletcher," said the sneering voice of Robert Lestrange, a tall, heavyset, and menacing seventh-year.

            Moony and Padfoot looked at each other, and dashed around the corner.  Poor Mundungus Fletcher, a Hufflepuff fourth-year, was backed into a corner, the usual group of offending Slytherins (Robert Lestrange, Severus Snape, Evan Rosier, Anthony Wilkes, Thomas Avery, and Olivia Chaulson) hemming him in.

            Fletcher was short for his age, and skinny, large glasses perched upon his nose and secondhand robes that were too big hanging off his small frame.  He was Muggle-born, uncommonly good at Herbology and Potions, and obviously intelligent; Slytherins flocked to terrorize him at every opportunity.  His horrible first name only made this worse.

            "What is _he doing here?" hissed Olivia Chaulson, flipping her thick dark hair over her shoulder.  Remus fingered his wand nervously.  If this was going to disintegrate into a fight, the Slytherins were three men up.  Four, if Fletcher didn't offer any assistance._

            "He's come to ruin our fun," said Snape, stepping forward.

            "You _did ruin mine, after all," Sirius said, smirking slightly.  "I was having a nice snog, and suddenly there's a whole crowd of Slytherin thugs stepping on my feet."_

            "What, a snog with your _boyfriend here?" taunted Avery._

            "Oh yes.  Remus is _spectacular_," Sirius purred, putting one arm about the young werewolf's waist and pulling him closer.  Remus blushed scarlet.

            The Slytherins all looked a mix of angry and disgusted.

            Meanwhile, the talk gave Fletcher the time he needed to get away.  _Four up, then, Remus thought, again fingering his wand.  __At least I'll go down fighting._

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

(swish and flick)

Finitum Part Two!

To be continued…

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Notes:

Rachel Calahan is _not_ a Mary-Sue.  She is not me.  She has no characteristics similar to mine, except for the fact that we both have brown hair.  I just made her up on the spot to use as a rather extraneous Hogwarts student.  If I were to do a Mary-Sue character, the romantic target would almost certainly be Remus, not James.  (I'm also a Slytherin.  SERPENTS FOR THE HOUSE CUP!!! YEAH BABY!!!)

_The Neverending Story_ by Michael Ende is an excellent book.  I highly recommend it. ^_^  The movie (which I was obsessed with when I was a child) is actually very good, but like all movies made from books, doesn't really do it justice.  And the movie sequel just downright sucked.  I just read it again – I hadn't read it in years, and I really wanted to see if there are any shounen-ai-ish hints between Bastian and Atreyu, since they have that whole destiny link thing going for them (aka Atreyu sees Bastian in the Magic Mirror Gate).  But that's another story and shall be told another time. ^_~


	3. Prince Charming, Pussycats, and Potion D...

Author's Note:

Hahaha, get ready for a brief appearance by Neko!Sirius…!!!

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Part Three: Prince Charming, Pussycats, and Potion Disasters

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_sunday afternoon_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            To Lily's surprise, James was actually a gentleman.

            She'd always thought he and his self-proclaimed team of mischief-makers were too loud, too boisterous, and too fond of causing trouble for her, in the capacity of the omnipotent Prefect, to deal with.

            But no, she discovered – when alone and not inclined towards setting off fireworks in the Divination tower or turning Slytherins' hair into snakes, he was pleasant, kind, and chivalrous.

            Not to mention rather attractive.

            Lily pretended to study a tapestry they'd just passed to hide the blush that immediately followed the recent incidental contact between their hands and the realization that she was developing a crush.  
            The two were walking to lunch after a long conversation they'd had beside the large rock next to Greenhouse Number Three.  Lily couldn't help noticing, when they were deep in conversation, how black his hair was and how adorably it spiked up; how his glasses focused attention on his eyes and made them appear larger; how slender he was; how his mouth quirked into a half-smile as he anticipated the outcome of an amusing anecdote; how his eyes were a deep, comforting brown that she'd never noticed until that moment…

            Lily inwardly giggled, then was appalled at her own silliness.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            In the hospital wing, Sirius and Remus had been separated from the rest of the Slytherins by a curtain stretched across the room and a very severe, painful-sounding death threat from Madame Pomfrey.

            Sirius, who had managed to escape unscathed besides acquiring a pair of cat ears and a tail to match, was sitting on Remus' hospital bed.  Remus had not been as lucky; his skin was blue, his eyebrows were singed, he had unidentifiable vegetables sprouting from his ears (Sirius thought he heard Madame Pomfrey mutter something about endives), and he was recovering from a full-body bind.

            The Slytherins had come off worse, definitely.

            "I never thought I'd say this, but: Sirius Black, you look quite fetching with a tail."

            "Why thank you.  And you look absolutely ravishing with green stalky things coming out of your ears."

            "Oh, my dear Sirius, do not mock my grave misfortune!" Remus said theatrically, one hand over his heart.

            There was a contented pause, then: "I think I'll be able to die in peace, having seen Severus Snape with the head of a chicken," Sirius said wistfully.

            "That was the highlight of my year, dearest Padfoot."

            "Oh, oh, mine as well, beloved Moony."  The two grinned deviously at each other, and Sirius' long black tail twitched in excitement.

            "You have _no idea how hot that tail makes me," said Remus._

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            James was left alone when Lily suddenly became horribly aware of the time and rushed off to complete the Transfiguration essay she had been (oh so shamefully!) putting off.

            Although he was a bit lonely, now, he realized that his thoughts hadn't turned to Sirius at all that afternoon.

            Ha.  Served the bastard right.

            "Hiya, Wormtail."  James had returned to the dormitory, where Peter was sitting alone on his bed reading a Muggle comic book.

            "H-Hi, Prongs."  Peter felt his face go into a slow burn as James lithely stretched out on the bed beside him.

            "How's tricks?"

            "Okay, I guess."  Peter glanced quickly at James, the corners of his lips quirking upwards.

            James grinned, definitely in good spirits – which, Peter noticed, was a tremendous improvement from that morning where the bespectacled boy had stormed away from breakfast.  He noted, without the slightest bit of detachment, how James clasped his nimble hands over his stomach as he lay on his back, finger tapping out an unclassifiable rhythm on the back of his other hand.  His hair was delightfully messy, encroaching in over his eyebrows but stopping short of the status of an visual obstruction.  His neck was slender and perfect, and with his head slightly tilted James seemed to be offering up that perfect expanse of throat to the eager kisses that Peter would give almost anything to be the one to bestow.

            His eyes…well, his eyes were fathomless and velvety and comforting, as well as being enough to send delightful shivers down Peter's spine.

            James Potter was the next closest thing to addiction.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius and Remus returned to their dorms some time later, minus the extraneous appendages but plus a fabulous tale to share with their dorm-mates.

            After Sirius had finished the telling of it, in elevated language and in the same grand style as the greatest epics, Remus leaned over and whispered something very secret to him.  All James could make out were the words "tail" and "soap", but the two excused themselves, Sirius claiming they were both "in desperate need of a shower".

            James just didn't even give it a second thought that he only heard one shower come on that night, not to mention that Sirius and Remus seemed to need an extreme amount of time to wash up.  His thoughts, instead, turned inexplicably to Lily Evans.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_monday evening_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "I can't believe we _both have detention.  Who would have thought that __both our potions would have exploded in almost the same instant?  I thought Professor Alamay would burst a blood vess…It was you, wasn't it?"  Remus said as they walked towards the dungeons, shaking his head at Sirius' devious grin.  "What was it this time?  A firework?  Or too much armadillo bile?"_

            Sirius didn't answer, simply tracing the fingers of his right hand gently and caressingly over the young werewolf's spine.

            Remus could feel a slow, delicious burn beginning in his lower stomach.  "You are insatiable, Sirius Black."

            Their eyes met, full of heat.  And the door to the Potions lab opened.

            "Hello, gentlemen," Professor Alamay said, looking very tired and very much like he wanted to let someone else deal with the self-proclaimed Marauders.  "You," he said, massaging his temples, "will be cleaning up the catastrophic mess you made in my classroom.  I am going to lock you in here until 12:30, and if the job is not done in that amount of time you will expect another detention and another ten points from Gryffindor."

            Sirius' eyes gleamed.  Remus coughed to stifle a chuckle.

            "Oh, and may I add…?  No magic."  The Professor pointed to two ungainly mops sitting dejectedly in two crusty buckets.  He slammed the door, and they could hear him perform the locking charm and strike off down the hallway, muttering to himself.

            "We'd better get started, oughtn't we?"  Sirius' grin was absolutely predatory.  Remus glanced at the clock over the Professor's desk – they had five hours.

            Five brilliantly blissful hours.

            Remus smacked Sirius' hand away from where it was straying downwards to brush longingly over his backside.  "How many times must I remind you, dearest Padfoot: work before play."  The young werewolf reached for a mop.

            "Oh but Moony, my love, you lead my heart astray."

_            Oh dear.  Not the rhyming game again_, Remus thought cheerfully.  "Your love?  Indeed, darling, whatever you say."

            "But you mean so much, so much more than a lay!"

            Remus snorted.  "Come what may, come what may."

            Sirius waggled his eyebrows.  "There are many hours in a day."  
            "If we don't clean this up, there'll be hell to pay."

            "Oh love, don't deny me a roll in the hay!"

            "Help me mop up, and I may say okay."

            "Please, please!  How could you be so cruel as to say nay?"

            Remus dramatically put the back of one hand to his forehead.  "Oh no! I am charmed by your cunning naiveté."

            Sirius sauntered up to the werewolf, loosening the front of his robes and shaking his hair out of its loose ponytail.  "We do have five hours in which we can stay."

            Remus' eyes were half closed, lips parted slightly.  "Sirius, you're putting on quite a display."

            "Oh, but I thought you wanted it this way!"

            Remus grinned.  "Sirius, darling, I'm going to stop rhyming now."

            "Why don't you tell me what you want and then show me how?" Sirius purred.

            "Okay.  Really.  I'm stopping."

            Sirius looked upwards, with a mischievous glint in his eye.  "Tell me, what is that mysterious popping?"

            "If you don't stop, you're not getting any."

            "What makes you so sure of that, oh my darling Remmie?"

            "That doesn't even really rhyme, you git."

            "O Moony, my dove, you've got my heart alit!"

            "You did _not just call me your 'dove'."_

            "O Remus, I really believe I'm in love!"  Sirius pretended to swoon.  Remus rolled his eyes and caught him.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            At precisely 1:15, James came strolling in Gryffindor Tower with a slight swagger in his step.

            And where had he been, pray tell?

            With the charming Lily Evans, of course!

            It turned out that Lily was one of those girls who preferred sitting up in the North Tower and looking at the stars rather than roaming the corridors looking for trouble, but for some reason this didn't bother James in the least.

            Maybe there _was something to all that mooning about stars._

            James wouldn't know, however, since he dropped Astronomy the instant they didn't have to take it anymore.

She _had_ been impressed with the Invisibility Cloak, though.

_            "Oh, James, it's so beautiful and silky!"_

            And she _had told him she'd been impressed with his flying in the last Quidditch match._

_            "It was amazing!  You made that goal even with the other team pelting Bludgers at you left and right!  I don't see how anyone can fly that well!"_

            And she _had…well, fussed at him for not becoming a Prefect._

_            "James, why aren't you a Prefect?  You and Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are three of the best students in the school…"_

            Well, never mind that.  Lily blushed whenever they touched, anyway.  That _had to mean something good._

            James' perfect night was irrevocably ruined, however, when he walked in on Sirius and Remus.  Again.

            He turned immediately and slammed the door behind him, the image of Sirius, complete with a cat tail poking out of the back of his robes, pressing Remus to their dorm wall imprinted on his brain.

            Wait…

            A cat tail?

_            Kill me now…_James thought, pounding his head against the door.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

(swish and flick)

Finitum Part Three!

To be continued…

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~


	4. Snitches, Snails, and Puppydog Tails

Author's Note:

1.) I'd say this chapter is, instead of PG-13, more like PG-15…not that anyone probably even pays attention to ratings anymore (I don't, anyway ^_^).

2.) Gah!  I have recently discovered that James was, instead of the Seeker I had always pictured him to be (and also how he is described in the movie – oh, canon-confusing travesty! *swoons tragically*), he is in reality a Chaser!  (I'm sure this is old news to most people, but it gave me quite a turn.  I read this in JKR-authorized material, as well. *sigh*)  So, my point is, I changed the Quidditch-practice scene.  Bloody hell.  And crackers.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Part Four: Snitches, Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_tuesday, high noon_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Remus quickly stuffed his pockets with food and escaped from lunch, claiming he had left his History of Magic essay on his bedside table.  He strode purposefully across the grounds, finally plopping down, with his back to a tree, at the far, far end of the lake.

            Ahh.  Peace.  And quiet.  And thoughtful alone time.

            It wasn't that Remus necessarily wanted to escape from Sirius; Sirius had been a dream come true the last few days.

            Sirius had always been a dream – a dream completely remembered but always out of reach, begging for his longing, his dreaming, his sighing.  Now that he had touched the dream, made love to it, everything seemed frightening; he felt he was spinning out of control.

            With just one nod of his head he could give in – give Sirius what he, for so long, had been aching to give – himself, completely and utterly.  But he was unsure just how far Sirius would be willing to take this.

            His thoughts, when Sirius had kissed him the first time, were chaotic, even if his manner was calm and collected and wry.  It didn't matter, he thought, Sirius would break his heart no matter what the circumstances…

_            But one cannot miss what one has never had._

            Remus felt so out of place when he thought about their affair when he was alone and un-tempted by Sirius' physical presence.  It seemed so unlike him, so like a fantasy that he would have embarked on this whirlwind relationship.  Snogging in the corridors…orchestrating detention so they'd have private time all to themselves…casting silencing and locking charms on their bed curtains…even kissing in front of James…

            Remus felt completely and thoroughly out-of-character.

            It just wasn't like him, this physical relationship.  Moony had always thought, when he did get in a relationship, that it would be all roses and chocolates and starlight, not come-hither looks and frantic groping and must-have-you-now's.

            It was exhilarating and refreshing in all the ways it shouldn't be.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_tuesday, late afternoon_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius bounced aimlessly on Remus' bed, waiting and waiting and waiting…and waiting…

            Remus hadn't shown up for afternoon classes – behavior that was so unlike him that Sirius was worried.  Remus never missed classes, except on the days after the full moon.  The black-haired boy had scoured the castle, even pulling out the Marauder's Map when the going got tough.

            But no Moony.

            So, putting aside the rather flippant excuses he told himself that Remus was okay, Sirius was beginning to feel worried.  When Sirius was worried, he began to count things.

            There were seventy-five ripples on the left side bed curtains, including the ones that flattened out halfway down; there were eleven curly parts on each bedpost; there were seventeen knots in the wood floor between his and Remus' beds; there were twenty-seven drawers, eight pillows with twenty-eight tassels, four trunks, fifty-two books/magazines/comic books, four blankets with ten small fraying holes and two large ones, and sixteen bedknobs in the whole room.

            Remus had fourteen books neatly bookended on top of his bedside table.  Hmm.

            Sirius' eyes scanned over the titles:

            "From Ashwinders to Zombies:  A Guide to Dark Creatures";

            "The Bhagavad-Gita";

            "Illuminating the Dark Arts";

            "Frankenstein";

            A book with an unmarked spine, which Sirius recognized as the only known      autobiography of a werewolf;

            The "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy;

            "The Rise and Fall of the Dark Wizard Grindewald";

            And some Muggle books:

            "Crime and Punishment";

            "The Neverending Story";

            "The Hound of the Baskervilles";

            "Human Psychology and Sociology";

            "A Collection of Short Stories by Edgar Allen Poe";

            "Jane Eyre";

            And last but not least:

            "Astronomical Anomalies"

            All seemed to be well-worn and dog-eared.  Sirius had a sudden, starry-eyed hope that Remus would touch _him_ and love _him_ as much as he had these books.

            The black-haired boy collapsed back onto the pillows, rolling over on his stomach and inhaling the indescribable scent that was purely and simply _Remus_.

            Mmmmm.  Lovely.

            Remus was so perfect and fragile…no, he wasn't fragile – years of monthly pain and shame and the persecution of his kind had led him to put up such a wall around his emotions and his feelings and parts of his true personality that no one could safely say they knew everything about Remus Lupin.  The young werewolf felt he had to be strong at all times, to never be fazed by anything said or done, to put a brave face forward always, and to never ever let anyone see how lost he was.  There was a time late at night were Remus seemed to let himself go; for the past few days Sirius had seen this firsthand – the languid relaxation; the sexy, throaty giggles; the way he would bury his face in Sirius' shoulder and Sirius would hold him tight and safe and protected…

            Sirius pulled one of Remus' pillows close to him, wrapping his arms around it and burying his face in its comforting, velvety squishiness.  If he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent ingrained in the bedding he could almost pretend that he was holding Remus in his arms, instead of just the pillow.

            The black-haired boy whined, a very canine sound, as he pushed his nose against the pliable material in front of him.  Right then, he missed Moony so much it was a little bit painful.

            Alright, so, if Moony was there, what would the young werewolf do?

            First, he would come over to his bed and pull back the curtains.  Then he would see Sirius there, and say something like "Oh, honestly, Padfoot" or "What are you doing, Padfoot" or "Oooh, Padfoot, shag my lights out right now"…

            Okay…so maybe that last line was a little out-of-character…

            Anyway, then he would either grab a book and join Sirius on the bed, or just join Sirius on the bed.  Sirius was definitely rooting for the second choice.

            After than there would either be a little light reading turned into a little light snogging, or maybe just a little light snogging, or (Sirius hoped) something a little less "light".

            Then they would either fall asleep together without getting ready for bed; stay awake and talk and flirt and kiss and then fall asleep without getting ready for bed; fall asleep and then get up, feeling kind of gross, and then get ready for bed; or get up right away and head towards the bathroom to get ready for bed – which would always take a very, very long time because Remus brushing his teeth and looking all disheveled was the second most adorable thing Sirius had ever seen in his life (the first also involves Remus, but is very private and quite naughty), and he could never resist stalling (read: turning it into a rather long snog in front of the bathroom mirror) for a while.

            Sirius whined again.  Suddenly there was nothing more desirable in the entire world than just hearing Remus walk through that door.  Sirius felt he could have gone without food for a week if Remus would just come back.  He could even do without the new racing broom he had been eyeing in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies.

            The thought that this had all started as a manipulative form of revenge had all but fled his mind.  Remus = life, love, pleasure, touch, true smiles at three o'clock in the morning, the loss of undesirable restraint; Revenge on James = fun most of the time; incredibly amusing a lot of the time, because James always took things like this so seriously; and the only reason two members of the self-proclaimed dream team would be at odds with each other.

            Well, one option seemed to be coming up lacking.  Revenge on James.  Really.  What a silly and childish game.

            Again at the end of a train of thought, Sirius whined, held the pillow closer, and once again began to count.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Peter was watching James fly.

            James Potter flying high on a broomstick was one of the most heart-wrenchingly exquisite things he could imagine.  On the ground James was all arms and legs and unlaced shoes, but in the air he was graceful, he was perfect, the curve of his spine arching slightly up and away from the smooth wooden handle, hands placed evenly in front and a look of intense, beautiful concentration on his face.

            Peter cupped his chin in his hands, leaning forward until his elbows were braced on his knees.

            This was crazy.  He wanted James so, s_o badly.  He felt like crying as James expertly caught the Quaffle from a teammate and tossed it gracefully, unthinkingly, in an effortless, experienced formation, across the field.  He caught it once more and sent it sailing through the center hoop._

            Suddenly, Peter had a crushing _want to be the Quaffle, to be that broomstick – to be anything that came in physical contact with James on a regular basis.  James.  Lovely, lovely James.  Peter could have lived with being the toast James ate for breakfast, if only…if only James would touch him…_

            James had made another goal.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_tuesday night_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Remus had fallen asleep against his tree on the far side of the lake.

            He had a dream – something involving a sphinx, a punch bowl, and Sirius; Remus could have sworn that he himself had been a girl at some point in the dream, but it was gone now, all dream-logic forgotten.  He stood, and the dream flew completely out of his mind as he was brought back to reality.

            He was sore.  And stiff.  And he had the beginnings of a headache.  Not to mention the fact that his tongue felt like sandpaper.

            Eww.

            He stumbled off towards Hogwarts again, certain that he had missed supper.  His stomach rumbled ominously, and he mused that he could probably rope Sirius into going on a kitchen raid with him.

            Oh.  Sirius.

            Damn.

            Remus stopped in his tracks.  Did he really want to see Sirius at the moment?

_            God yes…er, maybe not._

            What would happen if he did come across Sirius?

_            Mind-blowing pleasure!…er, awkwardness because he doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about him._

            And what would happen then?

_            More mind-blowing pleasure!_

_            Er…I would grab a book at head down to the common room._

            And then?

_            We would fall asleep all tangled together and deliciously tired but before that Sirius would kiss me in that unique way he does when it's late at night and I would just melt under his touch and…er, I would finish my nightly reading and get ready for bed and go to sleep._

            What would happen next?

_            We would wake up in the middle of the night and realize that we hadn't gotten ready for bed (again) and so we would head toward the bathroom and Sirius would distract me while I'm brushing my teeth (again) and the brush would clatter unnoticed in the sink as Sirius comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me and tucks one hand inside my shirt and just beneath the waistband of my pants, fingers splayed against my stomach, and he would slide his other hand slowly down my arm until our fingers were woven together, and I would lay my head back on his shoulder and watch us in the mirror as he begins to tongue lightly along my jaw as the minty flavor of the toothpaste still burns in my mouth…_

_            No, I would be asleep._

            Remus shivered in anticipation.  Who was he fooling, anyway?

            The trip up to the dormitory was uneventful; Remus paused for a few minutes to watch the Quidditch practice, to be secure in his knowledge that there would be no one in the dorm except he and Sirius.  He could see James flying, and oh – he'd just made a goal – and whenever James had Quidditch practice Peter would be there in the stands.  It was a simple fact of life.

            Remus rounded the corridor that led to Gryffindor Tower, muttered the password ("mugwubble"), and headed through the common room.  There were several close-knit groups of younger students that had pulled all the furniture in circles (and one group that had pulled the furniture – and some blankets – into a great-looking fort).  One such group of second-year girls smiled and waved at Remus, and when he smiled and waved back they collapsed into fits of giggles.  The young werewolf grinned to himself as he mounted the stairs to his dorm, hearing the squeal of "he's so dreamy!" waft up the stairwell behind him.  He laughed.

            Upon entering the dormitory, Remus' first impression was that it was empty.  Then he pulled back the curtains on his bed and discovered Padfoot there looking up at him with mournful, black eyes.  At the sight of Remus, the shaggy black dog leapt up, tail thrashing the curtains behind him.  He let out a soft bark and a whine, pushing against Remus' chest with his nose.  Then he leaped, pushing Remus to the floor, and began enthusiastically licking Remus' face and hands.

            Remus let out a shout of laughter as his back rather unceremoniously met the floor.  He ran his fingers through Padfoot's long fur and scratched him behind the ears, and when he began rubbing the dog's tummy Padfoot let out a plaintive whine and rolled onto his back, eyes closing and front feet pawing the air in ecstasy.

            Then he wasn't Padfoot anymore, but Sirius, and Remus found himself pinned to the ground, Sirius' rather obvious arousal pressing insistently against his thigh.

            Remus bit his lip and arched into the embrace as Sirius placed a soulful kiss on his lips.

            "Where were you?" Sirius murmured around the kiss, hands caressing hips and arms and shoulders and finally coming to rest tangled in Remus' hair.

            "I had…some…thinking…to do," Remus gasped out as the black-haired boy began sucking on his earlobe.

            "I'm glad you're back," said Sirius in a soft, low voice that buzzed delightfully in his ear.

            Remus sighed in pleasure as they began to kiss again; it was as though he had gone without air for an entire day and just now he was able to take a breath.  "So am I," he said just before wrapping his legs around Sirius' hips and pushing hard against him.  Sirius let out a panting breath, burying his face in Remus' neck.

            This continued for a few more minutes until Sirius turned them over, Remus straddling his hips and holding himself up with white-knuckled hands on Sirius' shoulders.  His eyes were dark and hooded and wanting, and Sirius took this opportunity to push Remus' robes off his shoulders and to begin unbuttoning the other boy's school shirt as well.  The brown-haired boy threw back his head, panting, arching his back as Sirius' hands grazed his chest, his own hands coming to a rest on Sirius' stomach.

            Sirius looked positively Dionysian with his back to the floor, his darkish skin in shadow and his silken hair splayed out over the floorboards.  "_Remus…" he gasped out, hands pressing against the werewolf's hips.  "__Oh I love you…"_

            Remus leapt back as if he had been hit, breath coming in short gasps as his back met one of the thick poles of his four-poster.  "What did you say?" he said hoarsely and frantically.

            "What?"  Sirius struggled to sit up, feeling groggy and disheveled, hormones still racing through his bloodstream and hair a horrendous (though fetching) mess.  "I said I love you," he said, voice pleading for Remus to come back and finish what he'd started.

            "You can't love me," Remus gasped out, hands squeezing together tightly to still their trembling.  "You just can't."

            Sirius moved forward, determined to show Remus just how much he _did_ love him, but before he'd moved a foot Remus had lurched to his feet and stumbled out of the dormitory.

            "_Shit_," Sirius groaned, smacking the hardwood floor with an open palm.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

(swish and flick)

Finitum Part Four!

To be continued…

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	5. A Dip Into Sirius' Illegal Supply of Alc...

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Chapter Five: A Dip Into Sirius' Illegal Supply of Alcohol

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_the wee hours of wednesday morning_

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            James had been flying when the thought came to him that he wasn't in the least bit angry with Sirius anymore.  Maybe he'd been a little too hasty in assuming that Sirius and Remus' newfound…closeness…had been revenge against _him_.

            He'd admonished himself for being so self-centered and for causing _another_ petty grudge to come between himself and his best friend, and left Quidditch practice in a good mood.

            And, being in a good mood, James was, naturally, hungry.

            So, after stashing his Quidditch gear in the changing room and taking a quick shower, the bespectacled boy headed back up to the castle, ready for another kitchen raid.

            His original plan was to ask Sirius, as a way of extending the white olive branch of friendship (or whatever the hell that phrase was), but since he could not find Sirius or Remus _or Peter (which was unusual, because he usually had to be extra careful as to not step on the poor boy), he decided to make his little excursion a solo one._

            So we join our intrepid hero as he silently moves down a back staircase, armed with the Invisibility Cloak and some extra fireworks…

            James rounded the corner, then dodged as quietly as possible into an alcove as he heard a noise coming from up ahead.  He froze as it came again, and then with a sort of jolt he realized that he was hearing someone crying.

            He moved softly across the corridor and peered invisibly around a doorframe into an abandoned classroom, where the last person he thought it would be was sitting on a desk, swinging his feet, and sniffling as tears overflowed his eyes.

            "Moony?" James said in disbelief, pulling the hood back from his face.  Remus gave a start, eyes wide at the sight of James' head floating in midair.

            "P-Prongs!  What are you d-doing?"  Remus scrubbed at his eyes, trying to sniffle inconspicuously.

            "_I_ should ask _you_ that, you know," James said, pulling the cloak off entirely.

            Remus looked down.  "I'd rather not talk about it, if that's alright with you."

            James shrugged and sat down on the desk beside Remus.  After a loaded pause, he started talking: "Can you believe how badly the Wimbledon Wasps lost that last match against Puddlemere United?  It was shameful!  450 to 20, really!  They should be ashamed to call themselves a Quidditch team!  I mean…"

            "Padfoot told me he loves me."  Remus was looking at him pleadingly, grey eyes huge and shining with tears.

            James opened his mouth, but nothing came out.  He tried again.  The third time was the charm.  "But…but shouldn't you be happy?"  He fiddled with the hem of his sleeve.  "I would be…" he said softly.  Remus didn't hear.

            "He doesn't mean it, of course he doesn't.  You _know how many girls he's told the same thing – I would have to be an idiot to fall for that."_

            "Do _you love _him_?"_

            Remus looked away, hands twisting themselves in his robes.  All was silent for a few uneasy moments, and Remus slid to the floor, weighed down by that silence.

            "Yes."

            James sat down on the floor beside Remus, who was scrunched into a ball, arms around his knees, face buried in his robes.  The black-haired boy hesitated for a moment, then pulled Remus to him, tucking the young werewolf's chin under his and placing his arms loosely around the other boy's waist.  Remus tensed for a moment, then relaxed into the embrace as James dropped a chaste kiss on his temple.

            "We love you, Moony, Padfoot and I do.  I'm sure Wormtail does as well – I just haven't heard his thoughts on the subject."  Remus gave a weak snort in reply.  "Anyway, when we found out about you being a…werewolf and all we swore to each other that we wouldn't ever do _anything_ to hurt you, _ever_, because you've had enough hurt in your life already…"

            "I-I…you don't need to…"

            "Shh, let me finish."  James placed one finger over Remus' lips.  "I don't think Padfoot would lie to you about something that serious…Serious, ha.  Anyway…he wouldn't, I don't think.  I've known him my entire life, you know.  He might lie to some girl about something like that, but never to our best friend and especially not to someone he's sworn on his manhood to protect."

            Remus gave a watery smile and settled farther down into James' arms.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Peter and Sirius nearly ran into each other as they rounded the corridor leading to Gryffindor Tower from different ends.

            "Sorry, Wormtail old boy, didn't see you there," said Sirius distractedly.  "Say, have you seen Moony?"

            "Have you seen Prongs?"  They had spoken at the same time, and suddenly something clicked and they both smiled knowingly.

            "Prongs, huh?"  Peter nodded.

            "You and Moony…?"  Sirius nodded.

            "I think we both need to get rip-roaringly drunk.  What do you say?"  Sirius put an arm around Peter's shoulders and guided him towards the portrait hole.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            The door clicked shut, and James was left alone.

            He pulled his knees to his chest, feeling dreadfully lonely.  Of course Sirius was in love with Remus.  Remus was the epitome of courageous; he was beautiful and graceful and had the prettiest grey eyes in the wizarding world; he had a mind like an encyclopedia and a heart that wanted so badly to trust.  He was so tragic and unassuming and _perfect_.

            Sirius would have to be completely without any senses at all to not fall for Remus.

            James set his glasses down on the floor beside him and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes.  All he could do now was go and threaten Sirius with dismemberment and a haircut if he _ever hurt Remus, and ponder over which friend he was really jealous of._

            Sirius.  Remus.  Hell, he was jealous of them both.  Both so precious, both so desirable.

            James let his head fall back and rest on the desk behind him.  For the first time in his life, he felt left out.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Wormtail old buddy," Sirius slurred, waving a bottle of cognac above his head, "I have to tell you," he hiccuped, "about the love of my life."  He took another swig.  "He…is…exquisite…" he sighed, laying back on the hardwood floor.  "You wouldn't…think it but he's so…vi…vi…vibrant, you know, and e-energetic, if you give him enough chocolate anyway, and oh can he kiss…I can't believe…I didn't realize b-before how in love with him I am…"  He turned over onto his stomach, letting the empty bottle roll under the bed.  "It m-must of happened the f-first time I met him, at the…train first year, because I r-remember thinking how much I wanted to touch his hair, since it was so soft and came down past his shoulders and he wears it in that adorable little pony-tail…"  Sirius giggled.  "Shit, I-I'm really, really drunk…"  He giggled again, and couldn't stop.

            "Okay…okay, it's m-my turn, now…"  Peter blinked repeatedly, trying to get his eyes to focus.

            "Ho…ld…on… I h-have another bottle somewhere in my…my…"  Sirius gestured at his trunk.  "This big brown wooden thing I put my clothes in…ooh, _trunk_, that's the ticket…"  He rummaged around near the bottom and finally came up with a rather sizable bottle of scotch.  "Oookay…go ahead…"  He unstoppered the bottle and took a swig before passing it to Peter.

            Sirius whistled in appreciation as Peter took a very long draught out of the bottle before setting it down with a clunk and collapsing backwards.  "My turn," he gasped out.

            "Y-yeah, go ahead," Sirius drawled.

            "Prongs…Prongs…P-Pr…ongs…is…" he slurred, gesturing with one hand at the ceiling before he passed out with a snore.

            Sirius raised himself on his hands and knees and peered at Peter, then took another long swig.  The alcohol burned on its way down his throat, but Sirius didn't mind in the least.  He attempted to stand, but swayed and stumbled insanely, finally collapsing back onto the floor as the room pitched and spun around him.  The last thing that his mind registered before it went temporarily out of commission was that it was entirely too hot in the dormitory.  Someone ought to have opened a window.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_early wednesday morning_

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            "Oh, great.  Just great."  Remus returned to the dormitory to find two of his best friends (and coincidentally the only two people he'd ever kissed) passed out on the floor.

            As he was Mobilicorpus-ing Peter into his bed, he realized: A.) It was nearly 4:00 in the morning; B.) He had missed half of school the day before; C.) He had done absolutely none of his homework that night; and D.) They had to be at breakfast in less than three hours.

            "What happened?  Are they dead?" James said wryly, hands on his hips.

            "No, but close.  Looks like they dipped into Sirius' illegal supply of alcohol."  Remus, with a flick of his wand, banished the half-empty bottle of scotch across the room.  James caught it and was about to take a swig when Remus stopped him.  "Don't, Prongs.  We're going to have to think of some reason these two are going to skip classes tomorrow…er, this morning.  I'm not too keen on sitting through History of Magic on three hours sleep, either."

            James took a swig anyway.  "Let me have my temporary distraction.  I've had a spectacularly horrible day."

            Remus tucked Sirius under the covers and grabbed the bottle from James.  "Give me that."  He took a very, very long draught.  "Mmh.  Relief in diluted ethanol."  He took another very, very long draught.  "Prongs, my dear friend, you are not the only one who's had a 'spectacularly horrible' day."

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_wednesday afternoon_

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            Professor McGonagall rapped smartly on the door of the sixth-year boys' dorm.  Its four occupants had missed several morning classes, and it they weren't planning some sort of prank then she would eat her hat and turn herself into a sloth.

            "Boys?  Are you in there?  Open this door at once!"  There were some muffled groans and creaks in response.  "If someone doesn't open this door in the next ten seconds there will be points taken from Gryffindor."

            10…9…8…7…6…5…4…

            James slowly cracked open the door, holding his head.  "Yes, Professor?" he said hoarsely.

            "Where have you all been?  You have missed three classes so far today, and may I add that Mr. Lupin missed all his afternoon classes yesterday?  If it comes to my attention that some sort of prank is in the works, I will give you all detention every night for the next week."

            They both winced as someone began to throw up in the background.  "I'm sorry, Professor, but we're all sick.  Remus must have caught something yesterday and given it to all of us."  James looked positively green in the face.  He took a deep breath, quite unsteady on his feet.  "I'm sorry, but I really need to go lay down again, Professor, I'm really sorry…"  He closed the door and stumbled back to bed.

            Remus, who had drunk the least out of all of them, but was still left with a pounding headache, was sitting at the edge of Sirius' bed, stroking the other boy's hair.

            "Please…wanna hold you…" Sirius mumbled plaintively, reaching out to Remus with his eyes closed against the evil, evil light.

            Remus slid as smoothly as he could under the covers, careful not to jostle the bed around too much.  All he needed was for Sirius to throw up again.

            "Here I am."

            "Mmm."  Sirius buried his face in Remus' shirt, breathing in deeply.  Then to the young werewolf's surprise and dismay, he realized that the shuddering breaths Sirius was taking weren't just shuddering breaths, but an attempt to suppress sobs.  Remus, anticipating a crisis, closed, locked, and silenced the curtains with a few key waves of his wand.  "Moony…you're so…you're so good to me, and I screw it all up…"

            "Hush.  You haven't screwed anything up."

            "Oh yes I have.  You're just pretending I haven't because I have this horrible hangover and feel terrible…" his voice wavered and broke, "…or maybe you don't think I have because you think it's somehow your fault, which it isn't, and I should have…I should have just kept my horrendously enormous mouth shut…I would have if I knew you would run away…"  He sniffled.

            Remus felt a bit uncomfortable.  He'd never seen Sirius in such a vulnerable position, and it made him feel terribly uneasy and out-of-place.  He rubbed small circles on Sirius' back, making hushing noises.  "Shh, shh.  You'll give yourself even more of a headache."

            "I'm so, so sorry…"

            "You've nothing to be sorry for."

            "I made you cry."

            "Well, _I just made _you_ cry, so we're even."_

            "No, _I made me cry.  You, never.  You're too good of a person to ever make anyone cry."_

            "That's not true."

            "Yes it is."  Sirius pushed at Remus' chest with his nose.

            "I love you."

            "No you don't, you're just saying that to make me feel better."

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Remus let Madame Pomfrey into the dormitory about an hour later.  She poked James a few times, nodded and made "I thought so" noises, and supplied them all with steaming mugs of greenish-brown liquid with a wave of her wand.

            "I shouldn't think that I would need to remind you boys that consuming alcohol on a school night is usually a bad idea."

            "Alcohol?  What alcohol?" Sirius said weakly from his bed.

            "Mmhmm.  You are not allowed to miss afternoon classes, but if you feel you must, you may join me in detention both this Thursday _and_ Friday night at 9:00 PM."

            James piped up.  "Detention sounds good to me, ma'am."

            There were noises of assent all around the room.

            Madame Pomfrey gave a wry smile.  "I look forward to it.  Professor McGonagall also reminded me to inform you that if any of your schoolwork, both for today and for tomorrow, has not been completed and handed in, she will take a hundred points from Gryffindor – each."

            "Yes, ma'am."

            There was an tangible feeling of relief throughout the room as the round little witch shut the door behind her.

            "I thought we were in much more trouble than that."

            "Me too."

            "Have you tried this stuff?  It's fabulous…my head's finally stopped trying to explode."  Sirius drained his mug.  "I'm going for a shower."

            "Me too."  Remus pulled some clean clothes out of his trunk just after setting his empty mug down on his bedside table.

            "James?" Peter said, as their other two dorm-mates shut the door behind them.

            "Yes?"

            "I…I…"  _I like you?  I love you?  I've had a crush on you for so long now?  I need to hold you in my arms or I'll die?  I want you so bad?_

            James drained his mug, collapsing back on the cushions.

            "How are things with Lily?"  _Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  I hate myself._

            "Great!  She asked me if I wanted to meet her at the Three Broomsticks on Friday…at…7:00…damn it!  Damn it, damn it, damn it!"  James smacked himself on the forehead.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Why aren't you going to classes?  I would have thought that you would, since you're the one who's so neurotic about missing possible exam material."

            "It's just DADA, Transfiguration, and double Herbology.  I can catch up fairly easily."  Remus smiled coyly.

            "I've been a terrible, terrible influence on you, haven't I?" Sirius said, tossing his shirt onto the counter beside the bathroom sink.

            "Oh, you horrible young man!  Sirius Black, you've corrupted me beyond imagination!"  Remus said, in an uncanny impression of Professor McGonagall, letting his shirt drop in a pile beside Sirius'.  He leaned mock-tragically against the wall, one hand on his forehead, licking his lips and letting the other hand trail to the fly of his pants.

            "Have I now?"  Sirius advanced predatorily.

            Up in the dormitory, if anyone happened to be paying attention, they'd notice that yet again only one shower was turned on – and that one shower stayed on for the next hour and a half.

            Missing classes didn't seem to be overrated at all.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

(swish and flick)

Finitum Chapter Five!

To be continued…

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~


	6. A Broken Mirror, a Broken Resolve, and a...

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Chapter Six: A Broken Mirror, A Slightly Broken Promise, and a Broken Resolve

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_early wednesday evening_

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            Remus was valiantly attempting to do his homework.  His grey quill flew over the page as he wrote his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay.  "Despite this species' vicious nature, and its fierce will to survive, the last known manticore died in 1437 due to the rampant hunting of its species by humans.  Like many magical creatures, the manticore has a bloody history filled with attacks on towns, kidnappings of young girls, and lairs strewn with the bodies of failed warriors.  This, however…"

            THUMP THUMP WHAM!

            "Owwww!!"

            "Ha ha ha!!!  I am the _master_!!!  Didn't think you fooled me that time, eh, James?!"

            Remus smacked a hand to his forehead.  Sirius and James had wrapped a scarf around a shoe and were trying to peg each other with it in turn.  The young werewolf had long ago closed the bed curtains in a lame attempt to shut them out (also since Sirius, with his hair half out of its ponytail, leaping on James every few minutes was very, very distracting).

            "AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

            CRASH!!!

            There was a sound of tinkling glass, and complete silence.  Remus gritted his teeth and swept the bed curtains to one side, advancing menacingly on Sirius and James, who were standing guiltily over the remains of the full length mirror that had stood in the corner.

            Remus pointed his wand at the mess.  "Speculum reparo."  The shattered glass shards rearranged themselves, leaving the mirror complete once more.  "_What are you two __doing?!"_

            "We were…we were just, ah…" Sirius trailed off, blanching.

            "Don't you two have _homework to do?!"  Two high spots of color appeared on Remus' cheeks._

            "We'll…get around to it," James said meekly.

            Sirius picked up the shoe and scarf combo.  "Come on, Remus, don't be such a wet blanket!  Wanna have a go at pegging James?"

            "No!!!"

            Sirius winced and hid behind James, who hid behind Sirius, who hid behind James (which had the effect of looking like some strange sort of dance).

            Remus threw his hands in the air, marching towards his bed once more.  "You're all barking mad!!"

            "You love us for it, though, yes?"

            Remus just growled, pulling the curtains shut behind him with a swish.  For a time, there was quiet, and the grey-eyed boy breathed a sigh of relief.  "This, however, would have been prevented with the creation of the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures, founded in 1853, which would have insured that such creatures that are naturally dangerous to humans would not be persecuted solely because of that nature…"

            "DEATH TO THE EVIL PILLOW ARMY!!!!"  James yelled.  This was followed by another crash, some evil-sounding cackling from Sirius, and the rather obvious sound of something being hit repeatedly with a pillow.

            Remus got very slowly and quietly out of bed, walking across the room until he was standing over Sirius, who was busy burying a struggling James in a large mound of pillows and blankets.

            "AAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!  I'M DYING!!!  YOU'VE FOILED MY PLANS ONCE MORE, EVIL PILLOW-MASTER!!!"  This was followed by some fake death hacking from James, and some very theatrical twitching.

            Remus cleared his throat.  Both black-haired boys froze, looking up guiltily.  The young werewolf, despite the fact that he was shorter than both of them, towered very threateningly.  "If I have to, I will move _all_ my papers and _all my books downstairs into the common room or the library to do my homework, but I would really rather not, since I rather like doing my homework on my bed.  It's very comfortable.  I hate working in the library, because it's dusty and Madame Pince doesn't like me for some reason.  There's always too many people in the common room, not to mention the fact that the entire second year girl's dorm has a crush on me, and I can never get any work done past all that giggling."  Sirius and James looked very close to bursting with laughter at that._

            Remus colored.  "Fine!  Fine then, just laugh all you like!  And lose Gryffindor two hundred points while you're at it!  See if I care!  If you're going to spend perfectly good study time acting absolutely _ridiculous_ and childish, would you _do it someplace else_?  I work my arse of nearly twenty-four hours a day to do as well as I do, and you just waltz into every class and make perfect marks even though I never _ever_ see you studying!  AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT??? _ IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!" the brown-haired boy roared, tears glittering unshed in his eyes._

            There was a shocked pause all around, the only noise in the entire dormitory being Remus' rapid breathing.  The young werewolf suddenly realized what he had done, went pale, and rushed to his four-poster with his hands over his face.

            Sirius and James sat in complete silence for a moment, staring guiltily at each other, as quiet sniffling could be heard from behind Remus' bed curtains.

            James gave Sirius a "you deal with it, you're shagging him" look, and got up, going around to gather up all the pillows they'd flung.  Sirius braced himself, stood, walked cautiously over to Remus' bed, and held his breath as he reached out one hand to open the curtains surrounding his grey-eyed love.

            "Moony…?" he said tentatively.

            "G-Go away."  Remus' blankets quivered pathetically.

            "And why would I want to do such a thing?" Sirius said imploringly.

            "B-Because I j-just screamed at my two b-best friends and I'd like some time to f-feel sorry for m-myself," Remus replied, voice quavering on the verge of tears.

            "Ssh."  Sirius lifted one side of the covers, sliding beneath them until he was spooned up behind Remus.  He wrapped his arms around the waist in front of him, stroking the young werewolf's stomach in a comforting manner.  Soon the sporadic, spasm-like catches in breath had subsided, and Remus relaxed into the familiar embrace.

            "I'm sorry," Remus said softly.

            "You've nothing to be sorry for, lovely."

            "I shouldn't have yelled like that, I…"

            "Shh."  There was a long pause, in which Remus sniffled and Sirius tightened his hold on the other boy, bringing his lips to rest gently against the nape of Remus' neck.  "How long has it been bothering you?"

            "Hmm?"

            "How long has it been bothering you that Jamie and I never seem to do any work?"

            Remus laughed humorlessly.  "Almost as long as I've known you."

            "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"  Sirius sounded slightly hurt.

            "It's not the sort of thing you usually just bring up, you know, Padfoot."

            "I wish you would.  It's not good to keep things bottled up like that."

            "I know."  Remus sighed.  There was a more contented pause, where Sirius laced Remus' fingers together with his own.

            "Jamie and I will try not to play around while you're doing you're homework, okay?"

            Remus turned suddenly, bringing himself nose to nose with Sirius.  "Don't you dare.  It just wouldn't be the same without you two banging around and breaking things every night."

            Sirius smiled as he pressed his lips softly to those before him, hearing Remus sigh softly around their kiss – and all was right with the world.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_later wednesday evening_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Look, I'm really sorry, I'll make it up to you, please don't be mad…"  James looked sadly at a rather put out Lily.

            Being rather put out, Lily naturally fell back into Prefect Mode.  "You should have known that whatever you were doing would land you in detention!  That's the problem with adolescent boys!  You never think things through before doing them and don't think how many other people are going to be affected by what you…mmh!"  James had kissed her, in front of the entire Ravenclaw table – as well as the entire Great Hall.  There were a few catcalls and whistles, and Lily, instead of pushing him away like she meant to when she raised her hands, ended up burying her fingers in his hair.  James' lips were so, so soft and Lily felt like she would just melt, something in her stomach fluttering strangely.

            After what seemed to Lily a blissful eternity, James pulled away, gave her a lopsided grin, and said, "See you on _Saturday night at 7:00, milady."  He bowed graciously before heading back to the Gryffindor table, leaving Lily out of breath and blushing madly._

            The redhead turned to her friends.  "At least now you'll believe me when I say I've been kissed!"   She stuck out her tongue.

            Sirius and Remus, in the meanwhile, were eating their dinners, legs touching and ankles crossed over one another's.  They were staring longingly at each other over their chicken casserole when two letters were dropped by a large tawny owl that had swooped over the table.

            "Gah!"  Sirius rubbed his head where his letter had struck him.  Remus fished his letter out of his salad, opening it and discarding the Italian-dressing soaked envelope.

_You will be joining me in my _

_classroom for detention tonight at _

_7:00 PM. Come prepared to work._

_-Professor McGonagall_

            "Bloody hell."  Sirius, apparently, had also opened his letter.  "Detention for you too?"

            Remus smiled wryly.  "Of course."

            Sirius grinned deviously, letting his tongue glide out to wet his bottom lip.  Suddenly he realized something, and his face fell.  "Oh no!  McGonagall always stays until the _bloody end_!  She'll _never leave us alone!"_

            Remus burst out laughing.  "Is that _all_ you think about?"

            Sirius thought for a moment.  "Pretty much, yes."  He tossed his letter across the table, where it hit Peter in the shoulder.  Peter glared for a moment, then returned to buttering his biscuits.  "What is this for, anyway?"

            "Don't you remember?  Sunday?  The fight with the Slytherins in the corridor?"

            "Oh yes…I'd completely forgotten about that."

            "How on earth could you forget _that?  I'll never forget the way McGonagall shrieked at all of us all the way to the Hospital Wing…"_

            "Ahhhh, _that fight with the Slytherins in the corridor!"  Sirius took a sip of his pumpkin juice.  "All I could remember for a moment about that night was you trying to figure out what spell Parkinson used to give me that tail…"_

            Remus blushed, and pinched Sirius rather hard on the thigh.

            "Ow!"

            "Hush, you, if anyone else heard this conversation…"

            "Oh, don't fret, lovely, even if anyone _was_ listening to this conversation, they _couldn't_ know that it's your closeted kinkiness that's being discussed."

            "They could _now."  Remus gave Sirius' thigh another pinch._

            "Ow!…Oooohhh…"  Sirius waggled his eyebrows as Remus' pinch became a teasing caress up the side of his leg.

            "Kinkiness, eh?  Sirius, darling, you haven't seen the half of it."  Remus gave an enigmatic smile.

            "Moony, _mon ami, I would be delighted to see this 'half' that you speak of," Sirius said, bringing their faces very close indeed to one another._

            "Mmm, is that so?"

            "Will you two just _cut it out???"  Peter angrily stabbed one of his biscuits with his fork, stood up suddenly, and marched from the Great Hall, leaving the fork sticking ominously out of the gruesomely butter-oozing pastry._

            Sirius and Remus nervously eyed Peter's retreating back, then the slow death of the innocent biscuit.

            "Er."

            "That was rather uncalled for, don't you think?"  Sirius went back to picking at his casserole.

            "Perhaps, perhaps not."  Remus was still staring thoughtfully at the door from which Peter had made his abrupt exit, suddenly guilty.  _Somehow, that was my fault._

            "If you're thinking that that was somehow your fault, you're probably wrong."

            "I'm not so sure.  I mean, Wormtail and I…" he trailed off, blushing just slightly.

            "You and Wormtail what?"  Sirius noted Remus' faint blush.  "You shagged him, didn't you?" the black-haired boy said playfully.

            "No, I did not 'shag' him, as you _so maturely decided to put it," Remus said, spearing a piece of chicken on his fork.  "You _know_ you were my first."_

            "Ah yes, there is that…"  Sirius smiled as he bent over his plate, picking the celery out of his salad and making a small pile on the table.

            "And _oh, Sirius, I'm _so_ glad you were," whispered Remus hotly in his ear.  Sirius' fork clattered unnoticed back onto his plate as his eyes went wide._

            "So, Moony, how long do we have until detention?" said Sirius, turning to Remus with a deliciously devious grin.

            Remus looked at the clock.  "About fifteen minutes."

            "That should be long enough.  Come on, darling."  Sirius grabbed Remus by the wrist and dragged him out of the room.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Peter, once again, sat under the stairs, curled into a ball, his head resting upon his school robes.

            "Aha, Wormtail, there you are!"  James stuck his head underneath the gap in the staircase, then plopped down, cross-legged, next to the blond boy.

            "Hi Prongs," Peter said sadly.

            "Hey, what's the matter?"  James cocked his head to one side, covering Peter's hand with his own and squeezing.

            Peter's breath caught in his throat at that, and he felt rather bereft when James' hand left his and settled back again on its owner's knee.

            "Nothing."  Peter sat up and shook his head.

            "I don't believe you."

            Peter wrapped his arms around his knees.  "Why not?" he whispered, looking down.

            "Because you always come under here when you're upset."

            Peter folded his arms on top of his knees, resting his chin on his forearms.  He gave a tentative smile.  "You've really noticed that about me?"

            "Of course I have."  James grinned that crooked grin that always made Peter's heart flutter.  "Now come on, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to play Exploding Snap."

            Peter beamed.  "Okay."

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

(swish and flick)

Finitum Part Six!

To be continued…

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

PS: I made up all the stuff Remus writes in his DADA essay about manticores, so don't think it's at all valid canon or anything.  Thought you ought to know…*collapses* ^_~


	7. Tragedy Strikes Suddenly and Without War...

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Chapter Seven: Tragedy Strikes Suddenly and Without Warning

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_late wednesday night_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            James was roaming the corridors, pretending to be a secret agent.

            It wasn't something he would ever admit to doing; he had seen a Muggle spy movie once and the image of the suave man in the suit moving secretively through the territory of the enemy, ducking behind walls and peering out cautiously, had stuck in his mind.

            So then, even though he was seventeen years old and Captain of the Quidditch team, he loved to sneak around the castle at night, clasping his fingers together in a pretend gun shape, and peering carefully and secretly around corners before dashing off down the hall to the next alcove.

            That night he was having a blast.  He was roaming around the fourth floor, softly humming theme music for himself.  He nearly leapt out of his skin when the upside-down clock down the hallway from him chimed one in the morning; and so, James decided he ought to go on back to bed.  Sighing in resignation, he pulled out the Marauder's Map to locate the best way back to the dormitory.

            And his heart nearly stopped.  Not more than an inch behind him on the parchment was a miniscule dot labeled 'Argus Filch'.

            "_Mischief Managed_!" he hissed, wiping the map clean and preparing to make a run for it.

            "Not so fast," said Filch in a sinister tone, closing a skeletal hand on the bespectacled boy's shoulder.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius and Remus were necking on Remus' bed, and Peter was trying his best to ignore them.

            Sirius had complained so much on the way back about how much his hand hurt from copying lines in McGonagall's detention that Remus promised to kiss it and make it better – this quickly degenerated into a heated snog session.

            Suddenly James came bursting into the room, looking extremely distressed.

            "Everyone!  We have an emergency!!" he shouted, and Sirius shot up from his comfortable position on top of Remus.

            "What is it?  What happened??"

            James put one hand tragically over his heart.  "The Marauder's Map…has been _confiscated."_

            Everyone gasped.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

thursday evening, just before dinnertime

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "All right, here's the plan."  Sirius was definitely in his element now.  The four Marauders were huddled together under the stairs on the second floor.  "I," he said, brandishing several smoke bombs and firecrackers, "will set these off in the girl's bathroom outside the Great Hall as soon as dinner's over.  You, Peter," he tapped Peter smartly on the shoulder, "will be the lookout.  As soon as Filch grabs me and hauls me off to his office, you run upstairs and tell Moony and Prongs," he tapped each in turn, "who will then create a diversion in the room right above Filch's office.  If all goes as planned, Filch will go running off and I will have a few minutes to search for the map.  Peter, you can be lookout again while Moony and Prongs create the diversion; when Filch starts to come up the stairs from the dungeons, run and tell them; you two, set off some firecrackers and run for your lives.  I don't want you getting in trouble again."

            They all nodded, and broke the huddle.  "Is everyone clear on their part?"  Everyone nodded smartly again, and headed proudly down the hallway to dinner.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

stage one of 'operation filch'

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius grinned evilly as he dropped the last "Filibuster's Wet Start, No Heat Firecracker" into the toilet on the far wall.  He had made some 'adjustments' to the firecrackers himself; they would now go off if he said the right password – within a fifteen-foot radius, no less!  He had planted them inside all the girls' toilets, and scurried away to lie in wait around the corner for some girls to go in.

            "Peter!  You ready?" he hissed. Peter stuck his head around the corner and gave him the thumb's up.

            A group of third-year girls, giggling and talking rapidly to each other, rounded the corner and entered the bathroom.  Sirius snuck closer, waiting a few seconds…there!

            BOOM-GURGLE-SPLASH!

            All the girls screamed, and Sirius snickered at the chaos he was inflicting on the innocent bathroom.  He opened the door and flung in a few smoke bombs as well, just to make it worse.  Sirius flattened himself against the wall next to the door, laughing his head off.

            The raven-haired boy suddenly felt a hand close on his arm.  "Mr. Black," said the voice that struck terror into the hearts of troublemakers everywhere.  Filch tightened his grip on Sirius' arm, and the boy gulped.

            Filch began to drag him off to the dungeons, and as usual, he protested loudly – just so Filch wouldn't think anything was up.  In the distance he heard the pattering of running feet as Peter tore upstairs.

            Sirius had figured out that the route from the bathrooms just off the Great Hall to the unused classroom directly above Filch's office was longer than the one from the bathroom down to Filch's office.  Thus, he had calculated, it would take longer for Peter to run upstairs than it would take for him to be dragged downstairs – which fit in perfectly with their plan.  Remus had made fun of him – if only Sirius put so much time and effort into his schoolwork!

            Filch shoved him into his office and shut the door.  "Detention, Black!" he said nastily, grabbing a form off a pile on his desk.  "Terrorizing the younger girls…making an enormous mess in the girls' bathroom…possession of fireworks and other such mischief-making items which are NOT ALLOWED AT HOGWARTS…"  Filch smiled in maniacal glee.  "I am going to talk to Dumbledore about _expelling you, Black!  You are a no-good __troublemaker!"_

            Sirius squirmed in his seat.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

stage two of 'operation filch'

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Filch has him!" Peter gasped out, staggering into the unused classroom where Remus and James were sitting on an old table.

            They leaped to their feet.  "All right, now we wait for exactly one minute…" James pulled out a pocket watch.

            The anticipation was palpable as James counted down the seconds.  "Four…three…two…one…GO!" Remus began letting enormous bangs off with his wand as James began overturning all the furniture in the room.  "Go, Peter, go!" James cried, and Peter took off once again.

            "How's this for a diversion!!" Remus cried, casting the Sonorus charm on a firecracker before setting it off.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

stage three of "operation filch"

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            An enormous boom shook the floor.  Sirius had to stifle a laugh as Filch looked in shock up at the ceiling.

            "PEEVES!!!" he shouted, rushing blindly out of the room.

            Sirius was up in an instant.  He ran over to a likely looking filing cabinet; the top drawer was labeled "Records", the middle drawer was labeled "Confiscated", and the bottom drawer was labeled "Confiscated and Highly Dangerous".  Sirius pulled them all open, searching frantically.  Nothing.  There was another _unlabeled cabinet beside it, which he frantically began to search…_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

stage four of "operation filch"

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Peter once again came tearing into the classroom.  "He's coming!  He's coming!" he gasped out.  Remus and James both pulled out firecrackers, set them off, grabbed Peter, and went running as fast as they could down the hall.

            "PEEVES!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW!!!" Filch roared, yards behind them.  They tore up the back staircase, sprinted along the hallway, and nearly ran into the Fat Lady as they begged for entrance to Gryffindor Tower.

            "Mugwubble!  Mugwubble!" they yelled, and the painting swung open, the Fat Lady clucking about impatient children.

            At long last, they collapsed in a heap in the dormitory, gasping for breath.  "I hope…Sirius…is okay…" Remus panted.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

meanwhile, back in filch's office…

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius had started a wild search of Filch's desk when he heard the door creak open.  He stumbled backwards, tripping over an untied shoelace as Filch advanced on him.

            "Do you know what I found upstairs?" he said sadistically, moving closer and closer.

            "N-no?" Sirius squeaked.

            "These!" Filch suddenly held up the charred remains of three fireworks.

            Sirius gulped.  "I don't know how they got there…I…"

            "Quiet, Black!  I'm on to your little plan.  You got in trouble on purpose and had your little friends create a diversion upstairs so you could search my office for _this."  Filch whipped the Marauder's Map out of his pocket.  Sirius groaned.  "I don't know what it is, but I have my suspicions.  Why would you go to so much trouble to get it back otherwise?  And why was Mr. Potter so loathe to give it up last night?  Hmm?"_

            Sirius winced.

            "Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Black!  I am keeping this on my person until you graduate, so another little stunt like the one you just pulled won't do you any good.  You haven't a chance of getting it back!" Filch said gleefully.

            Sirius slumped, defeated.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Later…

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            When Sirius opened the door to the dormitory, he was swamped at once.

            "What happened?"

            "How much trouble did you get into?"

            "Did you get it?"

            Sirius raised one hand, tiredly, and everyone silenced.  "Filch was on to us the whole time.  He's keeping the Map hidden in his robes, and he says that he's going to keep it on his person at all times until we graduate."

            Everyone slumped dejectedly.  "This is our darkest hour," James said tragically.  "Filch has finally gotten the better of us."

            "Hear, hear," Remus said, his head resting on Sirius' shoulder.  Sirius had his arms around the young werewolf's waist and was shaking his head sadly.

            "I have an old black tee shirt I don't wear anymore," James continued.  "We could cut it up and make black arm bands.  For mourning, and all."

            Everyone nodded and went despondently over to James' trunk.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

thursday morning, breakfast

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Why so sad?" Lily had come over to the Gryffindor table and was sitting next to James.

            "It's an epic-worthy tale," Sirius said tragically, one arm around Remus, who was poking his fork at a lumpy mass of hash browns.

            "Filled with intrigue," James added.

            "And tragedy," Remus put in.

            "And romance," Sirius said, kissing Remus on the cheek.

            "And explosions," Peter piped up.

            "Right.  And this is why you're all wearing jagged pieces of a tee shirt tied around your left arms?" Lily said wryly.

            "Yes," said James.

            "For mourning.  And James is terrible with his Severing charms," Sirius said gravely.

            "You're all nutters."  Lily scooped a forkful of scrambled eggs onto her fork and ate it.

            "Why are you sitting here anyway if you're just going to mock us?" Sirius sniffed in false disdain.

            "James asked me to, didn't you, James?" Lily cooed teasingly at her boyfriend, who blushed to the roots of his hair.

            "Awwww, wittle Jamsie-kins and his wittle girlfwiend!  Isn't he pwecious?" Sirius cooed in imitation of Lily, grinning like a madman.

            "Shove off, Padfoot, you great trollop."

            Sirius clapped a hand to his chest, as if James had thrown a knife.  "Argh, my bleeding heart…it hurts, it hurts!"

            "Shut up."

            Sirius grinned and turned to the redheaded girl.  "Anyway, Lily, _as I was saying, we had something of great importance taken from us."_

            "A dear friend…" James said sadly.

            "Got us out of many scrapes…"

            "Helped us peerlessly in our nightly trips to the kitchens…"

            "Spent a year and half making it…poured our blood, sweat and tears into it…"

            "And now it's gone…" Remus added, staring at a hash brown he had speared on his fork.

            "What are you talking about?" Lily said, still inclined to believe that they were all loony.

            "The _Marauder's Map, Lily."_

            "Oh, that old thing."

            "James!"  Sirius looked appalled.  "You told _Lily_ about the _Marauder's Map_??  She's a _Prefect_!"

            "Oh, like it matters now, anyway, now that Filch's got it."

            "But _James, you swore an oath of secrecy!"  Sirius still looked scandalized._

            "I did no such thing."  James crossed his arms over his chest.  "That was you and Remus being silly."

            "Was not!"

            "Was too!"

            "Was not!"

            "Was too!"

            "So, Remus, how are you?"  Lily turned away from James and toward the young werewolf, tuning out the petty fight that had started between their boyfriends.

            "Oh, I'm doing pretty well myself.  You?"

            "Can't complain, really," Lily replied, then eating a glazed peach with relish.  "Well, except about these two."

            "They're loony."  Remus smiled.  "But that's why we love them, yes?"

            Lily smiled back.  "Can't deny that one."

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

(swish and flick)

Finitum Part Seven!

To be continued…

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~


	8. Dropping Off, Dropping Hints, and Eavesd...

Enormously, Obscenely Long Author's Note:

In response to some reviews…

1.) It _is_ possible to have warm'n fuzzy feelings towards more than one person at a time.  (Done it myself, dontcha know.  T'was the tragic story of my life about a year ago… bygones.)  Peter is in love with James, but he is attracted to Remus because sweet Merlin, how could someone _not_ be attracted to Remus?!?!?  *clears throat*  Sorry.  Remus was there for him, and even though it wasn't true love when they kissed, it was comforting and nice and what Peter needed at the moment.  Aww.

2.) It's probable that Sirius and Remus, if they did have a relationship in school (which I am inclined to believe *wink*) they would have been more cautious and shy about broadcasting that fact to the public.  However, we also do not know how the wizarding world views homosexuality.  It seems to have its own set of prejudices and not dwell on the ones Muggles tend to dwell on.  So who knows?  Maybe the wizarding world actually has some sense and doesn't make a big deal of it at all, in which case Sirius and Remus would be as open as any straight couple about their relationship.  Just a thought.  (And also…this is comedy, folks, I'm not trying to be realistic!  It seems like entirely too many people take me way too seriously!  Had this problem with Love&Longing as well. ^_~)

3.) *giggles*  Sure, Mundungus Fletcher could have been in any of the Houses.  He is mentioned…three times, I do believe, in the books so far, and yeah, haha, he does seem to cause some trouble.  That incident with the falling stars was just him being overexcited…*giggles again*  My point is, we don't know anything about him.  He's probably like eighty years old or something. ^_~  We'll see when the next book comes out (_if_ it ever comes out. Yeesh.)  For some reason, I've always pictured Lily as a sort of Ravenclaw nerd, and the Head-Girl-Hermione type.  We actually don't know for sure what houses _any_ of the MWPP generation were in, except for James and Snape – hell, Sirius and Remus and Peter could all be in Slytherin for all I know.  But I have my reasons for putting everyone in the houses they are in. *wiggles fingers* Wooo! ^_~

4.) Eeep!  It seems that the legal drinking age in Britain is really 18…ignore what I said earlier. *sweatdrop* Maybe it's just in the Caymans that the age is 16. I mean, that's the reason 90% of my class went there over spring break. (I didn't go. I'd rather be writing slash fiction about a children's book than out drinking and shagging a complete stranger. Call me batty.)

PS: Eh heh, sorry if it sounds like I was being snippy with anyone…reviews are such a terrible means of communication – not that I'm complaining about getting reviews or anything, quite the contrary! – but I go crazy if I can't explain my reasoning for things that people criticise.  Just me being neurotic…So, sorry if I'm sounding snappish or sarcastic.  And oh, gosh, thank you to everyone who's given me such glowing reviews!

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Chapter Eight: Dropping Off, Dropping Hints, and Eavesdropping

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_thursday afternoon_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "C-Can I take a picture of you?" said a little second-year girl wielding a camera nervously to Remus just before he was about to mount the staircase to his dormitory.

            "Why do you want to take a picture of me?" Remus said, puzzled.

            "Anna thinks you're cute!" another little girl crowed from one of the chairs in the corner, surrounded by her friends, who giggled en masse.

            Anna, as Remus assumed her name was, blushed scarlet.  "Keely's the one who put me up to this!  _She likes you too!"  The little girl who had announced Anna's infatuation went red._

            Remus chuckled and patted Anna on the shoulder.  "I don't mind, take a picture if you want."  He smiled that heartbreaking smile of his that could melt the heart of anyone within a twenty-foot radius, and Anna smiled back, love-struck, still blushing furiously.

_            Click, whirr._  Anna lowered the camera, but seemed loathe to stop staring at Remus.

            "Nice doing business with you, Anna."  Remus put out his hand, and the little girl shook it, hand trembling slightly in Remus' much larger one.

            "Ha ha, Keely, you owe me a Galleon!  You didn't think I'd do it, did you?"  Remus heard as he continued on up the stairs.  He could just imagine the little brown-haired, pigtailed girl sticking her tongue out at her friend.

            When Remus opened the door to the sixth-year dormitory, he was greeted with silence.

            Which was, to say the least, unusual.

            The young werewolf moved into the room, shutting the door softly.  That was when he noticed that Sirius' bed curtains were closed, and upon closer inspection the other boy seemed to be taking a nap.

            Remus tried to force himself to just get a book and sit on his bed and read, or to start his homework early, but it was a lost cause.  The undeniable urge to go and watch Padfoot sleep was overpowering.

            So he tiptoed over, pulled back the curtains ever-so-slightly, and peered in at the unquestionable sleeping beauty.

            Sirius was turned on his side, facing Remus; his mouth was open slightly, but instead of this looking silly like James always claimed it looked, in Remus' opinion the way his lips were slack and pouty made him look very precious and very kissable.  His hair was out of its ponytail and was spread over the pillow, several strands crossing Sirius' cheek like streaks of ink.  His eyes were closed, thick dark lashes shadowing his skin, deep blue eyes moving almost imperceptibly behind their lids.

            It was too much.  Remus moved around the bed, kicking off his shoes, taking off his school robe, and loosening his tie.  He crept carefully into bed behind Sirius, tenderly putting an arm around him and touching his lips lingeringly to the back of the raven-haired boy's neck.

            "Love you," he whispered, and Sirius, wakened slightly by the change in his environment, sighed contentedly.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Ah, geez, Padfoot…"  James let the bed curtains swish shut as he smacked a hand to his forehead.  "I really didn't want to see that."

            "See what?" Sirius said innocently, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and tugging on Remus' hand.  "You're acting like you've never seen anyone snogging before."

            James glared.  "You're my two best friends.  What you do is your business, I just don't want to see it."

            "Then you shouldn't have gone peeking past my bed curtains, eh?"  Sirius stuck out his tongue.  "And speaking of things no one wants to see, is there any particular reason you dragged _her_ up here?"

            "Who, me?"  Lily pointed to herself, smiling innocently.

            Sirius grinned knowingly and began to pace the area in front of his bed, reminding Remus of a lawyer he'd seen on Muggle television once.  "Ohhhh, _I get it, Prongs, you're perfectly able to bring the lovely Miss Evans up here for a bit of '__tête-à-tête', if you know what I mean, but I am not allowed to lightly snog my own boyfriend in my own dormitory?  Am I right?"  Sirius held up a finger and poked James firmly but good-naturedly in the chest with it.  "Tsk, Prongs, you selfish deer, you."_

            James looked rather sour.  Lily trotted up and linked her arm with his.  "I think silencing charms all around would be a satisfactory solution, don't you?" she said, voice tinged with humour.

            Sirius grinned charmingly.  "You are one step ahead of me, darling.  I _knew_ there was a reason I liked you."  Sirius bowed chivalrously, dropping a friendly kiss on the back of Lily's hand.  James glared daggers as his girlfriend giggled.  "Well, see you later, dear friends."  Sirius suddenly leapt on Remus, pushing him back onto the mattress.  "Mm, Remus, you lovely wolf, we most definitely will need that silencing charm once I'm through with you."

            Remus laughed.  James twitched.  Lily giggled.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Peter was curled up in the window seat of the library, reading a novel.  He didn't usually haunt the library like some did; it was quiet, however, and unpopulated, and probably the last place anyone would look for him.  (That last thought was tinged with a subtle flavour of bitterness on Peter's part.)

            There was a romantic scene coming up, Peter could feel it.  He caught himself several times skipping whole paragraphs in his eagerness for the two main characters to kiss, but forced himself to go back and read them.  This had to be the moment…every other moment had been thwarted – attacks by bandits, sudden illness, ravaging wolf packs, and a forest fire had all, respectively, interrupted such romantic notions.  But Peter had high hopes for this moment.

_"Daphne," Alan said as he took her hand, leading her into a patch of moonlight that dappled the ground in silver patches.  "You have no idea how my heart yearns for you…"_

_"Oh Alan, I do…for my heart yearns for the same thing…"  He pulled her into his arms, untying the ribbon surrounding her waist-length raven hair.  Perfume surrounded them as he kissed lightly at her forehead, her cheekbones, the corners of her lips…"_[1]

            Peter suddenly stiffened in surprise, recognizing the footsteps and voices of the acting nemeses of the Marauders.

            Slytherins were approaching, and fast.

            Being a member of a species that is known for its immensely satisfying reactions to ribbing and inability to put up any sort of a fight at all, Peter chose the only option available to him: he ran.

            In the space of a heartbeat he had transformed into a plump, grey rat, and was just about to make a mad dash out of the library when he remembered – his book.

            Torn between his desire to get as far away as possible and his desire to find out what happened to Alan and Daphne, Wormtail cowered behind a bookshelf, whiskers twitching and tiny heart beating a mile a minute.

            "Oh, come on, Evan, there's no _way this plan of yours is going to work!"_

            "Shut up, Wilkes, I want to know what he's going to say."

            Wormtail snuffled in his corner.  A plan?  He peeked out just in time to see the familiar gang of Slytherins congregating at the window seat he'd just occupied.  With as much indignation as a rat could muster, Wormtail watched Evan Rosier pick up his book.

            "_Escapades Under the Moonlight_?  What the hell is this?"  He laughed tauntingly and tossed it to the side.

            Thomas Avery came trotting around the corner of the bookshelves, mean grin plastered on his face.  "It's all clear.  No one can hear us."

            Severus Snape chuckled mean-spiritedly.  "Then there won't be any idiotic, pig-headed Gryffindors to keep us from our revenge this time."  His grin would have frightened a fully-grown werewolf.

            "I still say there's no way it'll work."  Lestrange had his arms crossed over his chest, looking burly and uncrossable.  "It'll be completely obvious who did it.  All Black and Potter have to do is squeal to a teacher, and we're through."

            Snape smiled again.  "But, you forget that both of them will take it as a direct insult to their House, and thus their honour.  They won't go anywhere near a teacher – they'll want to sort things out themselves.  Plus, I happen to know that the sixth-year Gryffindor boy's dorm will be completely empty tonight between the hours of 9:00 PM and 1:00 AM."

            Evan Rosier sat gracefully on the window seat.  "Not to mention that I managed to get a pathetic first year to tell me the password to Gryffindor Tower.  We're all set.  It can't fail."

            Wormtail's small body trembled.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Five students were already busy at work when Peter finally came stumbling into the hospital wing.

            "There you are, Mr. Pettigrew!  I was beginning to think you wouldn't honour us with your presence at all," Poppy Pomfrey said disapprovingly, shooing him towards a large basket and a thin, sour-faced Slytherin girl.

            "But, but Madame Pomfrey!  Please let me talk to James, it'll only take a moment…"

            "No!  You're late already; whatever you feel you must tell him can wait until after your detention," she clucked, her shooing becoming more and more insistent.

            "Please!  It's important!  Would you just let me…" Peter said, trying to get past Madame Pomfrey, nearly whining in frustration.

            "What was that all about?" James muttered to Sirius as Peter was finally pushed out the door with the laundry basket and the Slytherin girl.  They were mopping the floor as quietly as they could; a screeching Madame Pomfrey had forbidden them to make any noise above a whisper after Sirius and James had gotten into a raucous (and rather destructive) "fencing" duel the instant they'd been handed mops.

            "Damned if I know," Sirius whispered back, avoiding mopping a rather dodgy looking corner.

            Remus and Severus Snape were at a small folding table Madame Pomfrey had set up, and were carefully slicing and bottling different herbs.

            "Lucky bastards," James said wistfully.  "We're over here breaking our backs at sweeping and scrubbing and mopping, and all they're doing is cutting veggies."  (Madame Pomfrey, of course, was loathe to let the two black-haired boys anywhere _near a sharp object, much less entrust them with the cutting and safekeeping of her valuable herb stores.  Some things are just common sense.)_

            "It's 'cause you're clumsy and Pomfrey doesn't want you around a knife."

            "Is not!" James hissed.

            "Is too!"

            "Is not!"

            "Is too!"

            "Not!"

            "Too!"

            Remus was pointedly ignoring the quiet argument going on several meters behind him.

            "How do you think you did on the Potions test last Friday?"  Snape set his knife down as he filled a small jar with spearmint.

            "I'm not sure.  Fairly well, I think, though I was nearly stumped by the last two questions – you know, the ones about the actual mechanics of the Aging Potion."

            "That's fairly simple."  Snape launched into an explanation, and Remus carefully plucked the leaves off every stem of thyme.  "…So, in overdose, the potion can seriously harm the body because it slows the production of cells as well as dulling the electrical impulses in the brain."

            "Fascinating."  Remus tipped his handful of thyme into the small, correspondingly-labeled bottle.

            "I've never understood why you're not better at Potions.  You've a mind for logic and riddles."  Snape smiled darkly, blade of the knife in his hand reflecting the room at large.

            "I love riddles, and that is the most interesting part of Potions.  I…I just can't keep all the characteristics of all the ingredients in my head.  They all fly out during tests."  Remus smiled sardonically.

            "I could help you.  I'm sure we could find a way to help you remember.  And before you ask, I can assure you that my intentions are entirely above-board."  Snape pulled three cinnamon sticks out of their water bath and began to slice them in fourths.

            "It hadn't even occurred to me that your intentions would be dishonorable.  And yes, I would like that."

            Snape glanced pointedly at Sirius and James, who had finished their mopping and were beginning to scrub the back wall.  "Somehow I don't think your…friends…would approve."

            "Would yours?" Remus said pleasantly over the rhythmic snick of his knife.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Argh!!"  James swore as quietly as he could, fishing the dirty, wet sponge out of his hair.  "What did you do that for, Padfoot, you wanker??"  The bespectacled boy glared at his friend, only to find Sirius staring, with a murderous expression on his face, at Remus and Snape, who were having an animated conversation.

            "I can't _believe he's talking to…oh, the nerve of him…" Sirius spluttered._

            "Are you talking about Remus, or Snape?" James asked, scrubbing hard at one section of the whitewashed stone wall.

            Sirius didn't answer, but turned, grabbed his sponge from James' outstretched hand, and began savagely attacking a stain with the soap and water allotted them.  He forced himself to keep his eyes off the two boys cutting the herbs, fighting the urge to look over every second or two with righteous indignation.  However, the desire soon became overpowering.  So Sirius looked…and nearly dropped his sponge on James' head a second time.

            That…that _Slytherin was holding Remus' hand in both of his!_

            Sirius nearly launched himself across the hospital wing, but James grabbed him quickly by the back of his robes.  "Stop it, Padfoot!  You're going to get us into trouble!"

            Sirius growled and fought (as quietly as possible), but soon lost his immediate desire to tear Snape limb from limb and sat huffily down on the floor in a sulk.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Wait!!  Don't go in there!!  I…" Peter yelled up the dormitory stairs, but it was too late.  Sirius had opened the door.

            "What the bloody hell…?!?!"  Sirius' jaw dropped, and James fought past him to stare at their dormitory.

            Everything was _green.  The bed curtains were all in Slytherin colors, and wooden snakes coiled their way around each bed post.  A large flashing banner in green and silver proclaiming that "Slytherins Rule" was suspended on the wall above their beds._

            "I tried to warn you," said Peter sadly.

            "Jesus, Mary and Joseph," James said, aghast.

            Remus bustled past them.  "Come on, I'm tired, let's just go to bed."

            Sirius' hackles raised.  "I am _not_ sleeping in a Slytherin bed!!"

            Remus rolled his eyes.  "Please.  Let's just tell Professor McGonagall and go to sleep."

            Sirius and James looked scandalized.  "Tell Professor McGonagall??" Sirius said, "we can't!!  This is a House matter of the gravest kind!  The only way to defend the honour of Gryffindor is to get them back ourselves!"

            "Hear, hear," said James.

            Remus pushed back the (now green) curtains of his bed and sat down, bouncing slightly.  "You do have to hand it to them.  They either used Transfiguration or Switching spells, and it was all very skillfully done.  Look at the carvings on the bedposts.  I don't think even James could do better.  Not to mention the fact that they had to figure out when we'd all be gone, get the password, and sneak up here without being noticed.  I'm rather in awe, actually."

            "Well, look at Mr. 'I'm All Buddy-Buddy with the Slytherins' here," Sirius growled.

            "Oh, come off it, Padfoot.  They're not all bad.  Severus is a rather engaging conversationalist, as a matter of fact."

            "Oh, so it's 'Severus' now, is it?"  Sirius had stalked across the room, arms crossed, back to Remus.

            Remus sighed and got up, striding over to Sirius and putting his arms around the taller boy's waist from behind.  "Why are you so jealous?" he murmured.  He noticed bemusedly that James and Peter had silently backed out of the room.

            "He was _holding your hand," Sirius snapped._

            "That was because I _cut myself, you great git."  Remus knocked his forehead hard into Sirius' back for emphasis._

            Sirius was silent for a moment.  "O-Oh."

            "Anyway, how could you even _think I'd cheat on you like that?  How could I ever want __him when I've got _you_?"_

            Sirius suddenly turned, burying his face in Remus' soft, chestnut hair.  Remus' eyes widened in shock as something that was definitely _not Sirius' hipbone pressed into his lower stomach.  "Sirius?"_

            "Yeah?"

            "Being jealous turns you on, doesn't it?"

            Sirius laughed.  "Please don't test this theory on a regular basis, Moony, I implore you."

            Remus glanced over at the bathroom door.  "Shower?"

            Sirius ruffled his boyfriend's hair.  "Yes, shower, great idea."

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

(swish and flick)

Finitum Part Eight!

To be continued…

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

[1] – _Escapades Under the Moonlight_ isn't actually a real book or anything (thank god).  I made it all up. ^_^


	9. Toothpaste, Toils, and Troubles

Author's Note:

Sorry it took so long, minna-san!  I just generally felt uninspired enough to _not_ write on this fic for…I think it's been almost a year, hasn't it? *blanches*  Dreadfully sorry.  I do have an excuse! *points index finger up in the air, looking enthusiastic*  I went off to college, and I've also been writing an original fiction called 'Glitch' with my dear friend (it's very slashy!), and writing and keeping up the website for it has been eating my time.  Look us up on FictionPress.net – we're Akira and Flair *shameless plug*!

I'll love you if you visit us!  Really!  *giggle*

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Chapter Nine: Toothpaste, Toils, and Troubles

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_friday morning_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Remus awoke to Sirius breathing in his ear, and after a moment or two spent in quiet, warm comfort, the young werewolf definitely decided he needed to make a run for the bathroom.  He maneuvered the black-haired boy's arms out from around his waist; Sirius sighed and turned over in his sleep.

            Nothing short of an explosion (or morning classes) could wake Sirius up after daybreak; at this point, Remus was very thankful for this.  The night before, as a team effort, they'd managed to Transfigure their beds back to normal – or, as back to normal as they could remember.  There were still some things that Remus could tell were off; he just couldn't tell what they were.  The 'Slytherins Rule' poster had been incinerated out the window.

            The young werewolf swung his legs out of bed, parted the bed curtains, and padded across the dormitory.  His own bed was still made, curtains drawn back around the posts; Sirius' was rumpled, as usual – everything in his part of the room seemed rumpled, from his textbooks to his Quidditch posters.  James' bed looked like it may as well have been made; he hardly ever moved in his sleep.  Remus smiled as he passed Peter's bed; the small blond boy was snoring lightly.

            Opening the bathroom door, Remus was astonished to see James standing in front of the sink, Sirius' toothpaste in one hand and his wand in the other.  The bespectacled boy had his wand pointed at the tube and was muttering at it, eyes narrowed.

            Remus let the door swing shut.  "Prongs?"  James gave a violent start.  "What are you _doing_?"

            James let out a breath in relief that he'd not been walked in on by Sirius.  "Making it so that Sirius' toothpaste tube will be filled by baby squid that I stole from the Potions classroom," he answered matter-of-factly, holding up a jar filled with the baby squid.

            Remus covered his mouth with a hand, laughing quietly.  The black-haired boy winked, began muttering again, and soon the jar was empty and the toothpaste tube was bulging.  They grinned at each other; James then headed off to bed and Remus headed for the bathroom stalls.

            "Where did you go?" Sirius asked, still half-asleep, as Remus climbed back into bed.

            "Loo," Remus replied simply, snuggling back up with his Padfoot.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "WHAT THE HELL???" Sirius yelled, horrified, as he squirted a tentacle out onto his toothbrush.  It hung, twitching slightly, over the bristles, and James and Remus cracked up.  "You!!" Sirius said in faux anger, trying not to grin, pointing at his two best friends alternately.

            "What's going on?" Peter asked sleepily, his own toothbrush in his mouth.

            Sirius put an arm around Peter, speaking into his ear.  "My two dear friends here have done something _unspeakable_ to my toothpaste," he said confidentially, holding his toothbrush, complete with glistening tentacle, in Peter's face.

            "It was _all Prongs," Remus said, still laughing, in his own defense.  "I just witnessed it."_

            They finished brushing their teeth (after Sirius borrowed some of Remus' toothpaste), still laughing, and James took his own toothpaste out of the bathroom with him to hide after catching Sirius looking suspiciously at it.

            "Ugh, we have detention _again tonight, don't we?" Sirius said distastefully, buttoning up his uniform shirt._

            James was tying his shoes.  "We're such _horrible children," he smirked._

            Sirius finished dressing and pulled Remus to him.  "Maybe _we'll be partnered up this time, Moony," he said with a dark smile, and Remus grinned, kissing him lightly._

            "If you are, as long as I'm not in the room, all will be well," James said testily, gathering his books for their morning classes.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius poked at the table with his pair of shears distastefully.  "I can't _stand Herbology."_

            James glared at him.  "Stop grousing about it and help me prune this thing.  It wants to eat my head, I can tell."  Their Venomous Tentacula was eyeing James viciously; it had a pernicious _look_ about it.  Remus and Peter were tackling their own at the adjoining table; everyone kept being startled by Peter's yelps as the carnivorous plant nipped at his arms.

            Sirius began to clip at the plant's extraneous leaves and it glared at him.  "Well, I'm really glad _we_ got paired up this time…most of the Hufflepuffs are just so…dull."

            "As if anything that we do in this class could be defined as _dull_," James said sarcastically, and whacked off another leaf.  The Tentacula eyed him warily, and suddenly smacked him viciously with a spiny vine.  "Ow!  This thing is trying to kill me!"

            "Aren't we all," Sirius muttered, stabbing his shears into the table again.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_friday afternoon_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Remus was reading at the lunch table, and Sirius was trying to distract him.

            "Oy, Padfoot, what do you _want_?" Remus burst out, his ability to ignore Sirius' hand slipping inside his clothing dissolving to nothing.

            Sirius leant close, whispering hotly in his ear.  "What do you _think I want?"_

            James let his fork fall with a clatter.  "We," he paused for dramatic effect, "have to obtain revenge on the Slytherins for their bed-changing trick."

            "Hear hear," Sirius responded, his arm still around Remus and his lips still pressed to the young werewolf's throat.

            "This is IMPORTANT, so PAY ATTENTION," James barked, brandishing a spoon in Padfoot's direction, who scooted away from Remus and sulked.  Sirius poked a dumpling on his plate with his fork, then put the tines longways across it and pressed downwards.  The dumpling made a very satisfying death gurgle.

            "Fine, fine, speak your piece."

            James sat up importantly.  "I think slimy, squashy things in their beds is good revenge, don't you?"

            "As long as they are very large, very squashy, and _very_ slimy," agreed Sirius.

            Remus put his book down.  "How exactly are we going to get six 'slimy, squashy things'?  Conjuring them won't do the trick – they wouldn't be there for long.  I suspect you want them to actually have to dispose of these things?"

            The other three Marauders nodded solemnly, and Peter spoke up.  "Professor Alamay has…slimy squashy things in his potion stores."

            Remus looked thoughtful.  "He has jars of slugs and snails…and jellyfish…Engorgement charms all around would do the trick, don't you think?"

            Everyone nodded again, and began to grin.  "But who's going to go get them from the potion stores?"  Peter looked terrified.

            There was a brief silence.  "I vote Prongs, because he interrupted my midday seduction of Moony."  Sirius stuck out his tongue at his best friend, who rolled his eyes.

            "Not Sirius," Remus put in.  "If he gets into any more trouble right now Filch'll probably start lobbying for him to be expelled."  There were more solemn looks all around.

            "Fine, I'll do it," James grumbled.  "But this is going to be difficult without the Marauder's Map."

            "What are you going to do _now?" Lily asked, holding her plate over her head as she sat down next to James._

            "None of your business," Sirius said, put an arm around Remus, and stuck his tongue out at Lily good-naturedly.  The redhead rolled her eyes and began picking at her salad.

            Remus nodded at the Ravenclaw table.  "Trouble on the home front?" he asked, buttering a biscuit.  Lily nodded, finished chewing, and swallowed.

            "I'm the _only one in my dormitory who's getting any action at the moment," she said, looking slyly at James and grinning.  The bespectacled boy turned bright red and nearly choked on his pumpkin juice.  "So they're taking it out on me."_

            "So, Lily, how _is James at what he does?" Sirius grinned evilly._

            The Ravenclaw girl smirked just as evilly.  "He knows his way around the female body pretty well, I must say," she said, and stabbed a dumpling with her fork.

            "_Why_ are we having this conversation??" James wailed, covering his face with his hands.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_friday evening_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Detention in twenty minutes," James announced to the dormitory.  Three groans answered his statement.

            "Stop _doing that!  It's bloody __depressing!" Sirius replied from Remus' bed, where Remus was reading for Astronomy and he was reading a Quidditch magazine.  "We __know what time it is."  He pointed to his floating bedside clock._

            "Just keeping you abreast of our current situation."  James continued doodling on the margin of his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay.

            Sirius rolled his eyes.  "You are the _only person my age whom I have _ever_ heard use the word 'abreast'."  His eyes slid to Remus, and he grinned at the young werewolf.  "Speaking of, how __is Lily at what she does?"_

            James growled.  "Will you _leave it be_??  That's only the _fifth time you've asked me today!"_

            Sirius and Remus grinned at each other.  "Inquiring minds want to know," Remus deadpanned, sticking his nose back in his book.

            Padfoot rested back against the pillows.  "Do you _loooove_ her?  Will we be honoured guests at your _weeeeeedding?"_

            James shot them a dirty look.  "Sod off.  I don't ever _want_ to get married."

            Peter sighed and ignored his friends' conversation, turning back to his Divination charts.  He stared at them, trying to ignore the clamouring in his brain, then collapsed backwards onto his bed.

            No matter how much he tried, he couldn't make himself be jealous of Lily.  _She_ didn't know she was doing anything wrong to _him_…But seeing her become so close to James so quickly made the bottom drop unpleasantly from his heart.  _Damn her.  She's pretty.  And smart.  And…not me._

            He looked up into James' concerned brown eyes.  "Doing okay with the Divination?" he asked, peering down at Peter's charts.

            The blond boy nodded, sitting up abruptly.  Maybe he emitted some sort of lonely vibe, because James picked up on it.

            "I think Wormtail needs a girlfriend," James said seriously, then grinned over at Sirius and Remus.

            "Or a boyfriend," Padfoot said just as seriously, making eyes at Remus, who ignored him.

            Peter flushed to the roots of his hair.  "Really…I'm…fine…" he managed to choke out, and he buried his face in his book.

            "Everyone keep an eye out for a good girl…or boy for Wormtail!" Sirius shouted at the room, and Peter mourned his luck of getting stuck in a dormitory with such a group of loonies.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_friday night_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius groaned.  "You're shoving us off on _McGonagall?" he asked incredulously, and Madame Pomfrey nodded._

            "I see no problem in the situation, Mr. Black," she said severely.  "All of you, now, to her classroom, and _no dallying_."  Sirius, Remus, James and Peter turned sulkily to head out the door.

            "This has _got to be some sort of divine interference to __torture us," Sirius wailed as they trooped up a flight of stairs._

            "We _did break the rules," Remus said matter-of-factly._

            Sirius huffed.  "We _did_ break the rules," he responded in insulting imitation of Remus, crossing his arms over his chest.  "So you think we _deserve to copy lines with Major McGonagall for several hours straight?"  Remus ignored him._

            Their footfalls neared the classroom, and Sirius sighed dramatically.  "Remus…if I die in there, make sure James stays away from my broomstick."

            The young werewolf turned, looked Sirius up and down, trying not to grin.  "Which one?"

            Sirius smirked, eyes narrowing in amusement.  "Both, although I _know the one that Prongs would be most interested in," he said suggestively, and Remus and Peter laughed._

            "I resent that!" James grumbled, and pushed the classroom door open.

            McGonagall looked up in surprise.  "I see you actually chose to make it on _time_."  Sirius continued to sulk, and their teacher stood, shuffling papers.  "I'm going to let two of you copy passages out of 'Hogwarts: A History' and two of you clean up my classroom.  Any volunteers?"

            Sirius brightened immediately.  "Remus and I will clean," he suggested, trying not to look too pleased with himself.

            McGonagall seemed a bit suspicious, but agreed anyhow.  "Fine.  Cleaning supplies are in the closet at the end of the hall.  But," she interrupted as they turned to go, "if you're not back here in fifteen minutes I'll send _Filch after you."_

            "Now, why would we want to keep from tidying up your lovely classroom?"  Sirius smiled winningly and pulled Remus after him out of the room.

            "Bloody Sirius and his bloody sex drive," James muttered after McGonagall had handed them copies of 'Hogwarts: A History', parchment, and quills.  "I hate this book."

            "Me too."  Peter looked distastefully at it.  _But several hours with James shouldn't be so bad_, he thought, perking up a bit.

            As soon as the classroom door closed, Sirius and Remus went _tearing_ down the hallway towards the closet.  "No time to waste!!" Sirius hissed, grinning like a maniac.  Remus giggled.

            "Hmm…what do we have to deal with here?" Remus said thoughtfully, looking at the cleaning supplies.

            Sirius closed the door and pushed Remus up against the wall.  "No time for _that yet," he purred, and nipped gently at the grey-eyed boy's lip._

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "You just _had to drag me into _cleaning_, didn't you?" Remus complained, massaging his arms, as they finally made their way up the stairwell to their dormitory.  "I might have __enjoyed copying lines."_

            Sirius pouted, but one could still see the twinkle in his eyes.  "Moony, don't you _like_ me?"  He stuck out his lower lip forlornly.

            "Prat."  They grinned at each other.

            "We would have switched places with you guys in an _instant_," James complained, ruffling Peter's hair.

_            I would have _loved_ to switch places…to go make out in a closet with James._  Peter sighed wistfully.

            "At least she let us out a bit early.  I think she was getting sick of your off-key humming, Padfoot," Remus teased.

            "She wasn't the only one," James muttered.

            "Off-key?  What_ever_ are you talking about?" Sirius said, his hand over his heart, in a completely innocent voice.  "But anyway, cheer up, Prongsy, tonight you've got to go raid the potion stores!" Sirius said cheerfully, opening their dormitory door and diving for Remus' bed.  Remus joined him in an instant.

            "I'm _exhausted.  Never volunteer me for cleaning again, Padfoot," the young werewolf groaned, burying his head in a pillow._

            James untucked the Invisibility Cloak from the bottom of his trunk.  "So, what do you guys want me to get?"

            "Jellyfish!" Sirius said, and wiggled his fingers.

            "Slugs!" Peter piped up.

            "Squid!" Remus said, and laughed.

            "And I vote leeches," James said with a grin, slipping the Cloak over his head.  "Wish me luck!"

            "Much luck to you, dear friend," Sirius said solemnly, saluting him.

            "Good luck," Remus said, lifting his head briefly from his pillow.

            "Good luck!" Peter called, a huge grin on his face.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            It was dark and chilly down in the dungeons, and James was getting a serious case of the creeps.  It was really, really _silent, quite a bit dingy, and the Bloody Baron just kept __floating, deathlike, down the hallways._

            The bespectacled boy shivered again, and twisted the handle to the Potions classroom.  Miraculously, it was all clear, so he slipped within.  The door shut with what seemed to be a deafening click and he tensed, ears straining for any other sound.

            Breathing a sigh of relief, James headed towards the Antechamber of Doom, pulled a hairpin out of his pocket, and began to pick the lock.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            Sirius sat up happily as the dormitory door seemed to open by itself.  "Hurrah!  Prongs, our fearless hero, has returned!"  James pulled off the cloak and laid it across his bed.

            "Behold!  I have…"  He started pulling jars out of his robe pockets.  "Slugs, leeches, squid, and jellyfish," he said, grinning maniacally, setting each jar on his night table in turn.

            Everyone cheered.  James spread a towel on the floor and knelt beside it.  "Here goes nothing…"  He pulled a leech out of its jar and dropped it on the towel before it could get a hold of his finger.  "Engorgio," he muttered, and the leech began to swell.

            "Was leeches such a good idea?" Sirius said, staring, as the now giant leech began to slurp its way towards James' leg.

            Prongs jumped back in horror.  "Rictusempra!" he shouted, and the leech flipped over and began to twitch.

            "How about huge _dead squashy slimy things in their beds?" spoke up Remus._

            James nodded enthusiastically, pointing his wand at the leech, which had resisted his first spell and was making its way towards him again.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "Now someone has to get them into the Slytherin dormitories," Remus said, his legs tangled with Sirius' under the covers.

            There was a silence as everyone eyed the towel full of six monstrous, dead _things_.

            "Fine, I'll do it," Remus said, getting out of bed.  "Mind if I borrow this?" he asked James, pointing at the Invisibility Cloak.

            James shook his head, still staring at the towel.  The young werewolf grabbed the Cloak, then pulled a duffel bag out from under his bed, seized the towel by either end, and began to stuff it inside.

            "It has extra space," he explained, as the towel seemed to sink farther down than the bottom of the bag.  Remus slung it over his shoulder, then swirled the cloak around himself.  Sirius leapt out of bed, caught the now-invisible Remus around the waist, pushed back the hood of the cloak, and kissed him, hard.

            "That has _got to be one of the weirdest-looking things I have ever seen," James muttered.  "Sirius, you are __kissing a __floating head!" he called out._

            Sirius pulled away and snickered.  "A floating head…not really any different than usual," he said enticingly to Remus, who blushed scarlet.  "Good luck, love of my heart."

            "Thanks," Remus said, smiling, and pulled the hood over his head.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

(swish and flick)

Finitum Part Nine!

To be continued…

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Notes:

Many thanks to my dear friend Sashlahime, who suggested I use leeches in this story. XD


	10. Premonition, Introduction, and Affirmati...

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Chapter Ten: Premonition, Introduction, and Affirmation

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_saturday morning_

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            The Marauders all shared evil grins with each other as the Slytherins shot them looks of pure hatred over the breakfast tables.

            "What, did they think we _weren't going to get them back?" Sirius said, stabbing a diced peach and eating it with a flourish.  "Moony, you are my __hero."  Remus blushed and smiled happily.  "You __actually managed to sneak into the Slytherin dormitories without being seen."_

            Remus swallowed a bite of scrambled eggs.  "I got lucky.  Three of them were coming out of the secret passage only a few minutes after I made it down there."

            "You're _still my hero," Sirius fawned, and kissed Remus on the cheek._

            "Hello all," Lily said, sitting by James again.

            Sirius looked up in mock surprise, placing a hand over his heart.  "Why, if it isn't the lovely Miss Evans!  You look absolutely ravishing today.  Tell me, how _do_ you keep your hair so smooth and static-free?"

            Lily laughed, and James gave Sirius a disgruntled "stop molesting my girlfriend" glare.

            "Don't be such a wet blanket, Prongsy!  At least we're not discussing your love life," Sirius said matter-of-factly, and winked at Lily.

            "That cretin actually managed a _love life?" came a sarcastic voice from behind Sirius._

            James sent a death glare at Severus Snape, who was leaning nonchalantly against the wall.  "What, are you _jealous?  I'm sure there are plenty of death adders in the world who'd love to shag you, Sevvykins," Sirius smirked._

            Snape's expression increased in sourness.  "You know, I _don't appreciate waking up next to a giant, dead LEECH."  He glared daggers at James._

            "Oh, come _on, Snape, you _can't_ blame us for the atrociousness of your night life," Sirius said, buttering his toast, and Remus tried very hard to hide his snicker by taking a bite of eggs._

            The Slytherin's dark eyes narrowed to dangerous slits.  "We are _going to get you back, mark my words."  He gave them one last glare, then flounced off, his robes billowing forebodingly behind him._

            "What did you _do?" Lily said incredulously, eyes wide._

            "What makes you think we did _anything?" Sirius said serenely, making an evil-looking face on his plate with fruit salad._

            Lily threw her hands up in the air and went back to her breakfast.

            "Sirius Black," came an angry female voice, and Sirius' head shot up in bewilderment, "you are a _bastard!"  The long-haired boy turned around, and his face lit up in recognition._

            "Lydia!  And how are _you doing today?" he asked with a charming grin._

            "You _stood me up last night!!" the willowy Ravenclaw screeched, and the whole table fell silent._

            "What are you talking about?  I…"  Then realization dawned.  "Oh."

            The dark-haired girl crossed her arms over her ample chest.  "I hope you have a _very_ good excuse, or…or I _never want to see you again!" she exclaimed piercingly._

            Remus stared into his breakfast.  This wasn't going to end well.  Sirius _never let a __girl break up with _him_._

            "Oh, I had a _very good reason, Lydia."  Sirius' voice was suddenly very grave.  _Here it comes_, Remus thought.  __He'll say he was in detention, then he'll take her back…  A wave of sorrow sank through his heart._

            "I'd _love to hear it, Sirius," she snapped.  "I waited for you for __two hours.  This had __better be good."_

            "Oh, it _was good."  Sirius grinned cunningly.  "I was having a nice shag with my lovely friend Remus, here."  Remus felt his breath catch in his throat._

            Lydia's bottom lip trembled.  "You're making _fun of me!" she wailed._

            Sirius put an arm around Remus and kissed him gently on the lips.  "I assure you, I am not," he said tranquilly, taking the young werewolf's hand in his.  Remus smiled devotedly at him.

            Lydia just squealed rudely, smacked Sirius hard across the face, and stomped away.  There was a rather shocked silence all around, until they heard Lydia shrilling to her friends: "He LEFT me for another BOY!!!"

            Most of the Gryffindor table laughed, and Sirius sighed happily.  "What a lovely day it is turning out to be," he said, rubbing the hand-shaped red mark on his cheek.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

_saturday afternoon_

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            "Quidditch practice," James announced at Peter's questioning look, heading for the door.

            Peter looked excited.  "Oh, yeah!"  He bounced after James.

            Sirius eyed the door until it clicked shut, then managed to leap straight from his bed to Remus'.  "You," he said, face very close to the other boy's, "should put down that health-damaging book," he removed Remus' History of Magic book from his hands and laid it on the night table, "and pay attention to _me_."  Sirius grinned cheekily.

            Remus rolled his eyes, grinning apologetically.  "I really need to research for my History of Magic essay," he said, raising an eyebrow.  "You wouldn't want me to get bad grades because you're insatiable, would you?"

            Sirius pouted.  "But Moony, we haven't had any time alone since the closet last night!"

            Remus' eyes twinkled, even through the severe expression he had on his face.  "Hmm…I _might_ be able to take a break."  A huge grin broke out on the dark-haired boy's face, and he pressed closer.  "But this had better be good."

            Sirius smiled darkly, eyelashes dipping down to brush his cheeks before raising them again and fixing Remus with an intense stare.  "When has it _not been good?" he purred, letting his hands slide deliberately from the young werewolf's chest to his hips.  Remus was _so_ lovely, Sirius thought; right then his eyes were all dark and needy and his cheeks were a bit flushed.  The dark-haired boy raised a hand to unhook the clasp of Remus' school robes, and felt the smaller boy's breath catch in his chest._

            Remus rose to his knees, burying his hands in Sirius' long hair, and crushed his mouth to the slightly-parted lips before him.  It wasn't close enough, though, so Remus pushed his Animagus friend to the bed, stretching sloooowly on top of him, a very knowledgeable smirk on his face.

            "Remus surely knows what he wants _today_, hmm?" Sirius grinned smugly, a slow burn beginning to thrill in his lower stomach as Remus sucked gently on his neck.  The young werewolf just smiled that same dark smile, and began to unbutton his shirt.

            "Forgot my practice schedule," James announced, opening the door.  He got one look at Remus stretched out on top of a half-shirtless Sirius, turned around, and slammed the door.  "Would you _please tell me when you're __decent?"_

            "Are we _ever decent?" Sirius called, grinning maniacally and shrugging out of his shirt.  He got Remus out of __his shirt in no time flat, and let the young werewolf push him back to the mattress.  "Okay, we're decent," Sirius called again, trying to hide the fact that he was snickering.  Remus kissed him thoroughly._

            "Finally.  I'm going to be la—" James opened the door again, saw them in further state of undress, flushed scarlet, and slammed the door once again.  "I hate you, Sirius," he wailed.

            Sirius let his hands drift to the waistband of Remus' pants.  "You know, James, you might just have to dash in here and get it, because the longer you wait, the more clothing we lose."  He winked at Remus, who gave a devious snigger.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "…Must kill…those insatiable…lecherous…promiscuous …trollops…"  James stomped across the grounds towards the Quidditch field, plans for their impending practice clutched tightly in his hand.

            Back in the dormitory, Sirius and Remus were leaning together in an effort to _not_ die of laughter, as well as a more urgent one to rid themselves of clothing.

            Sirius took a deep breath, letting it out with a snicker.  "He's just jealous because he doesn't want to admit we turn him on," he said maliciously, pulling the curtains closed around them, then pouncing on the grey-eyed boy and unfastening his pants.

            Remus smiled sensually, looping his arms around Sirius' neck and pulling him down for a kiss.  The young werewolf arched against the other boy, gasping and wrapping his legs around Sirius' hips in a way he knew would drive his friend crazy with desire.

            "Lovely," Sirius purred, before eagerly claiming Remus' lips.

            James finally made it out to the Quidditch pitch, to the relief of his teammates.  "What the hell happened to you, Potter?" one girl shouted from the goal hoops.

            "The great Captain is late!  I've seen it all now," another Chaser said mockingly.

            James glared at him.  "We have to play _Slytherin next week!  Get down here – we're going to _talk_!"_

_            Oh great, it's going to be one of _those_ practices, Peter thought a bit sarcastically.  Watching wasn't any fun unless the players practiced drills and formations on broomstick.  The blond boy sighed, leaning his elbows back on the bench behind him, and stared up at the sky._

            The clouds turned out to be no more interesting than the Quidditch discussion down on the pitch, so Peter turned his attention back to James.  _He's rather glorious when he's in a foul mood, the small boy thought, smiling a little._

            "H-Hello, I've seen you here…sometimes…before," a quiet, female voice spoke up from a couple of rows above Peter.  He looked over his shoulder.  A very shy, soft-looking girl with round cheeks, clunky glasses, and a Hufflepuff scarf tied neatly around her neck was smiling down at him.

            "I-I've seen you here before too," Peter replied, smiling back.

            She tucked a strand of strawberry blond hair behind her ear, smiling a little wider so that dimples showed on her cheeks.  "Would you mind…would you mind if I sat down there?  With you?"  Her eyes strayed down to her feet.  "It's sort of a boring practice today."

            Peter's smile broadened.  "I don't mind."  _She's so pretty…_

            The girl broke into a grin, stood up, and trotted over to the stairs.  When she'd sat down beside Peter, she bent down, pulling her knee-high socks back up.  "Are you just a loyal team supporter?  Is that why you're always at the practices?"

            Peter shrugged.  "I guess…well, James Potter is one of my best friends, and…yeah."

            "Oh!"  Her eyes lit up.  "You're here for James Potter too?"

            "So you're _not here to spy for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team then?" Peter said, winking at her._

            She grinned.  "Of _course_ not!  I just like watching James.  He's so…dreamy…"  She sighed, and her glasses slipped halfway down her nose.

            "Yeah," Peter agreed, glancing down at the Quidditch pitch.  James was gesturing insistently at the goal posts, looking magnificent, as usual.  Wormtail looked back at the Hufflepuff girl.  "What's your name?"

            "Alice," she said, and smiled.

            The blond boy held out his hand in invitation for a handshake.  "Peter."  They smiled at each other once more, then went back to watching the Quidditch practice.

            James had evidently yelled at his team enough, for they were all taking to the air.

            "They're so _wonderful," Alice breathed, eyes wide.  "I wish I could fly like that…but I'm __horrible.  Flying classes first year were a __nightmare."_

            "They were for me too!"  Peter took his eyes off the Quidditch and turned them on Alice.  "It was like the broomstick didn't want me anywhere near it."

            The Hufflepuff girl giggled.  "Mine wouldn't even leave the ground.  Then the Professor got it to fly for me – but it wouldn't do _anything_ I wanted.  It rose fifteen feet in the air and bucked me off!"  They both laughed, and didn't even notice how James and his fellow Chasers executed a brilliant trade-off of the Quaffle as their conversation went on full speed.

            Soon, it seemed for Peter, the practice was almost over; the sun was beating down hot over the field.  "Hey…Alice?" Peter began, then chickened out.  "N-Never mind."

            The bespectacled girl looked expectantly at him.  "What?"

            Peter took a deep breath.  "I-I think you're…r-really nice, and r-really pretty, and doyouwanttogotoHogsmeadewithmetonight?"  He flushed bright red.

            Alice's eyes went wide for a moment, then she grinned rapturously at her shoes.  "I-I would really, really like that," she said softly, a blush spreading over her cheeks.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "I can't believe you're wasting the afterglow reading for History of Magic," Sirius said a little crossly, his cheek pillowed comfortably on Remus' chest.

            "What do you mean _wasting?  This is _important_ reading, this is," Remus said, kissing Sirius upon the forehead._

            The dark-haired boy smiled deviously.  "I wonder how Binns would react if he knew you were reading his textbook, cuddled up in bed _completely starkers with your roommate?"_

            Remus whacked him on the shoulder with the book.  "I'm sure he'd get a thrill.  Probably the only one he'll have had in his entire existence."  The grey-eyed boy shuddered.

            "This is just a sorry afterglow," Sirius complained.  "Now we're talking about _Binns_."

            Remus laughed and tossed the book upon his night table.  "Not that I was getting any reading done anyway," he teased, turning towards Sirius and cuddling him properly.

            "See?  All better," Sirius purred, snaking his arm tighter around Remus' waist.  "Moony?"

            "Yes?"

            "Would you like to grab a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks tonight?"  Remus could feel Sirius smiling against his skin.

            "We've been planning on doing that since _last month_," Remus said, grinning and letting his fingers trail along the other boy's spine.

            "Mmm.  Don't stop doing that," Sirius said contentedly.  "Yeah, I know, but I meant…just for us…as a _date_."

            There was silence for a moment, then what Sirius had just said fully caught up to Remus.  "O-Oh."  There was another silence.

            "Never mind, Moony, forget I asked."  Sirius sighed.

            "No!  No…Padfoot…of _course I'd go with you!  I'd go _anywhere_ with you."_

            Sirius' eyes crinkled around the edges.  "_Anywhere?  What about a strip club with the main attractions being Professor McGonagall and a Dementor?"_

            Remus shuddered again.  "Ugh!  Where do you come _up with these things?"  He nipped none-too-gently at Sirius' ear._

            "Didn't know it would get you so frisky," Sirius said with a dark smile, and he began to stroke his hand down over Remus' stomach.

            "Randy git," Remus muttered, not minding at all.  "Do you still have to finish your DADA essay?"

            "Damn.  I'd almost forgotten."  He continued his tactile exploration.  "Do you _enjoy_ discussing schoolwork in bed?"

            Remus laughed.  "I could…help you with it, if you wanted."

            Sirius pressed his lips to the young werewolf's throat.  "You're _great at DADA.  I'd really appreciate that."_

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

            "I didn't know you meant _now," Sirius groused, now fully clothed, searching through his Defense Against the Dark Arts book._

            "Come on, Sirius, it shouldn't take so long.  All you have to do is find a species that was helped by the creation of the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures."

            Sirius grumbled again, flipping pages unseeingly.  Suddenly he looked up, meeting Remus' soft grey eyes with his large, curious blue ones.  "How about you?"

            "What?"

            "How about…werewolves?"  Sirius propped his chin upon his hand.

            Remus thought for a moment.  "I suppose we have…been helped, I mean."  He ran a hand through his tawny hair.  "I _am going to Hogwarts," he pointed out._

            "So I'll do _research."  Sirius' face lit up with a huge grin.  "I'll do my essay on _you_.  And if you __haven't been helped I'll write about how you should be."_

            Remus smiled, his cheeks heating up just slightly.  "O-Okay."

            Sirius began to flip interestedly through his book, discovered the right section, and let the rather tattered text fall open.  The raven-haired boy leaned over the table, beginning to read and underline madly.

            Remus couldn't stop staring at Sirius.  The other boy was rather engrossed, biting a bit at his bottom lip.  The young werewolf quirked a smile, resting his chin on his palm.  _He's going to do extra research for DADA…just so he can write his essay on me.  Something thrilled in his chest, and he felt goose bumps prickle his skin.  Remus let his eyes fall to the open book on the bed in front of them._

            "I love you," Remus said softly, his voice low and filled with warmth.  Sirius looked up in an instant, fixing the other boy with his ocean-deep gaze.  Remus let his eyes travel upwards from the book, letting his eyes fall solemnly upon Sirius'.

            Sirius reached up to gently tuck a stray bit of hair behind Remus' ear.  His touch lingered; his palm slid around to tenderly cup the other boy's cheek.  "I love you too," he replied, eyes full of devotion.

            Then the two boys smiled blissfully at each other and returned to their studying, a breeze from the open window stirring the bed curtains, their hands clasped firmly together.

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(swish and flick)

Finitum Part Ten!

~The End~

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Notes:

*falls over*  I can't believe it's _finished.  I've only been writing this thing for half my life!  *grin*  Only kidding.  And it ended so…sweetly.  Didn't see that one coming.  But I'd just like to thank you guys for your glowing reviews, and also for being marginally patient with my lack of updates. XD Arigatou, minna-san!  I love you all! ^_~_


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